Saturday, December 31, 2016

Bring on 2017!

Adios 2016. On a personal level, you kinda sucked.

There were great things that happened in the year. After all, something good had to happen within the time span of 365 days but the bad outweighed the good this year.

New Years traditionally is a great holiday. I love the idea of new beginnings and resolutions are always fun. But not this year.

This year there are no resolutions. My decision to eat healthier is one made for my knees and I already began. I've finished a novel and am working on another story so no need to resolve to write more.

No. This year I'm preparing to fight. Fight for the rights of Americans who will be losing their healthcare, their pensions, their safety, the rights to their own bodies.

This won't be the year to be quiet. This is going to be the year to protest, to complain, to insist on being heard.

Bring it on 2017. We're getting ready for you now.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

All Romance E-Books

And another one bites the dust.

All Romance e-Books is closing down as of Dec. 31, 2016. That was Lori James site which, I believe, has been around since 2006. 5 days ago they sent out a letter soliciting advertising and now they sent out a letter telling existing authors that they'll offer 10 cents on the dollar for monies owed.

10 cents on the dollar.

The letter asked that authors accept getting fucked over so that All Romance doesn't have to go into bankruptcy.

A lot of pissed off authors out there. I took my books off years ago since I never made any money and their porn titles were always front page. And I do mean porn, not erotica. Lots of step-daddy/daughter porn and stuff like that. I felt dirty looking at them.

It will be interesting to see what happens. It seems that authors are getting butt fucked every time they turn around nowadays.

Not a pretty picture out there.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

RIP Ms. Fisher

She was more woman than this world usually knew how to handle. From a very young age, Carrie Fisher had more smarts, more wit, more self-awareness than people three times her age.

She was an icon. She played one of the first Princesses who could fight as well as a man. She wrote books that were laugh out loud funny as well as brilliantly truthful. She was feminism personified.

Her friendships with women were legendary and I imagine there are more women mourning the passing of 'one of us' than men mourning the passing of the hot princess in the swimsuit chained to the fat guy.

She was the inspiration of Paul Simon's finest albums (Hearts and Bones), she championed for mental illness and she never lied.

I wanted to be more like her. More fearless, more willing, stronger.

She was my super-hero in her everyday self.

I'm mourning today. The world lost so much talent this year but today it lost Carrie Fisher and that's just a fucking tragedy.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Ho Ho Ho

Happy day after Christmas, third night of Hanukkah and day off work.

My sister sent me 2 bags of chili cheese fritos because they aren't available on this island and I'm waiting till noon before I open a bag and go to town.

I'm glad the holidays are over.

I was completely into them from Thanksgiving till about the second week of December but then I got tired and wanted the whole thing to end. Now ended. Hooray.

It was a fun holiday. My SIL was going through chemo last year and sooooo sick, therefore this year she threw herself into the holidays and went a little crazy. But she was happy and that was what really mattered so very happy that she had a great holiday.

Hope all who drop in this blog had a lovely holiday. I know some of you were facing your first season without someone you love and my heart is hurting for you. I hope 2017 brings us more joy but I'm not convinced it will.

Love the people close to you. Show kindness. Accept kindness.

We're the ones who will be responsible for getting through the coming year with hearts intact. With love. With our backs turned to hate.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016


Available for pre-order.

Coming out on January 20, 2017 because something good should
happen on that day.

(I'm thinking of an ad that reads 'A demon in the White House, Lucifer
on Amazon. You choose.')

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Almost There

Almost ready and I'm excited.

Lea made this gorgeous cover and Carolyn has been working with me on edits. I'm planning a release sometime late January to early February so I can coordinate paperback as well as ebook and hopefully some give-aways too.

Damn, that cover though. That's the book, right there.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

One of my Favorites

Remember when VH1 was a music TV station? With lots and lots of music videos? John Mellencamp and Elton John were showcased frequently and I remember watching this video over and over and thinking how romantic it was. I was fascinated by the living statues and I loved the song. Still do.

Listen to 'The One'.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Where We At

Aloha friends!

Last night we put the Christmas tree up and added extra twinkle lights and life looked momentarily blissful. There are certain things that calm a person's soul and Christmas trees with twinkle lights is one of them for me. (Beaches and Chinese teenagers are two others, so imagine how well that works for me.)

Carolyn has been busy recently trying to slog through my latest manuscript. It ain't romantic. But it is. It certainly isn't romance. Although it started that way...

I was in my old van driving into the neighboring town and had a thought that Lucifer could be short for Luci. So what if Lucifer was a woman? And what if...  And a romance novel was born.

And that romance novel sucked.

So I played with it trying to twist in into different forms until it finally gelled as a retelling of Genesis from the devil's point of view. Which is my kind of twisted POV since I would never trust any stories told by men. They so love to rewrite history as it suits them.

So there we are. Lea is slogging through my demands for covers, Carolyn is trying to force herself to remain interested in a whiny devil and I'm sitting staring at twinkle lights while muttering "pretty, pretty... shiny, shiny".

Life is fun.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Happy Stuff Yourself and Stuff Your Feelings Down Day

Thanksgiving. A day when we celebrate food. Serious amounts of food that we eat until we hurt and then wait a few hours and eat again.

We are having our Thanksgiving at the home of a woman who is close to my SIL, a woman I seriously don't like. But since I want to spend the day with my family and not by myself pouting, I will go and eat and stay as silent as possible except when talking to those I'm comfortable with.

Otherwise, I am well. My new car is cool. I'm almost completely done with Christmas shopping and I even got my cards in the mail as well as my gifts.

This year we're pretty into the season because last year Myrna was going through chemo and ended up in the hospital so it was a sucky holiday. This year we're already cooking up a storm and really planning some celebrations.

I hope everyone celebrating Thanksgiving has a wonderful one. Those of you who aren't (Lea :P) I love you anyway.

Hugs to AL in Mexico.

And my heart to Carolyn who has been facing her first holidays without John. 'll be lifting a glass to his memory and hope you all will take a moment to remember him.

Love you Carol. But not sending any leftovers.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

R.I.P. Fortress

My green Uplander, my van we named Fortress (because it was a character in a book Carolyn wrote and it would always protect us) died.

Well, it didn't really die. The brakes were shot, it needed a new battery and the repairs were going to be about $1500. which was $1000 more than I had to spend. Nobody would do a partial fix and there were no payment options on the repair.

So I drove my old van in a Ford dealership and said, "keep it cheap, keep it running and make sure it has great gas milage". Then I cried because I didn't want to add another car payment to my budget after I finally got Fortress paid off.

So we have a light blue Toyota Celica with thankfully, low miles. I got a surprisingly good deal with a low payment (not as low as I wish but probably something that won't break the bank). And I got a good interest rate and everything. The only great flaw with the car is the Hawaiian weather has pitted the paint but that's not a huge deal.

Anyway, a quick tip of the hat to Fortress who took good care of us for years. We'll miss you old girl.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Hate is Just an Unfinished Thought

I saw a wonderful picture on Facebook of a man who saw a swastika painted in a parking lot and he got paint and filled in the lines to make a box with 4 squares and then wrote in L-O-V-E.

And I thought how smart than man was. He saw the swastika and realized that it was just an unfinished thought.

Then I thought about hate. I thought how easy it is to misunderstand and resent. How much easier to assume the worst than the best.

Now I know that people who hate other people based on race, or sex or sexual orientation aren't going to change their mind with a good cuddle. But we can change our minds.

We can recognize that those people are simply unaware that their thinking has stopped in mid-sentence (or in mid-swastika, if you like). It's our job to paint in the rest of the boxes when they're presented to us.

Anyway, our household is a politics free zone right now. My brother is gloating over Trump's election and I'm biting my tongue not pointing out how he's already broken his campaign promises and will continue to do so.

Trump is an unfinished human.

Anyway, my tongue hurts from all the biting and my car's brakes are shot and Christmas is coming. Life is interesting, I must say.

Hope you're all doing well.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

If I Turn the Other Cheek, You're Looking at My Ass

Last night when I went to pick Mollie up after school, I got into a discussion with one of the teachers at the school about the election. He was wearing black, in mourning for our country. He said that he and his wife have signed off of all social media right now because they can't swallow the crap they're hearing about how this election is a chance to bring America together.

Then my brother, after I explained in detail how I could see our rights being trampled and trod upon, told me to give Trump a chance. He might prove you all wrong, my brother said.

On Facebook, the morning after the election and even now, people are telling the Hillary supporters to swallow it down, don't be divisive, we can work together. Those were probably the same people who worked so well with Obama the last eight years.

But I thought about it. I really did.

And my answer is no.

Don't tell me to give Trump a chance. He doesn't deserve one. He spewed the hate speech, he bullied and he mocked and humiliated everyone who was 'other' than he was. He had a million chances and every time he doubled down and proved himself even more crass, more nasty, more deplorable than before.

Donald Trump might be the president elect but Hillary won the popular vote and damn it, she was my president.

Donald Trump is a bully and he does not represent me.

Donald Trump is a racist and he does not represent me.

Donald Trump is anti-semitic, xenophobic,misogynist and he does not represent me.

Donald Trump is a sexual predator, a short fingered vulgarian and he does not represent me.

And those of you who voted for him and are saying right now: 'but I'm not racist' or whatever you claim, just remember you voted for a racist. You voted for a man who bragged about sexually assaulting women, who bragged about not paying taxes, who threatened the woman running against him. You voted for him and he represents you.

I'll be donating my time, my service and my money to NARAL, to Planned Parenthood, the the Anti-Defamation league. If I can, I will march with Black Lives Matter, I'll picket businesses who refuse to make wedding cakes for gays and where there are hate crimes, I will make my voice heard.

Congress and the House will get emails and letters and postcards bearing my name. Businesses who show support for Trump will not ever see my money. People who admire him can kiss my fat ass as I turn away from them.

Donald Trump is proof that America hates blacks, women, gays and all minorities. Donald Trump is proof that when all is said and done, most people really are evil. And Donald Trump will never represent me.


Monday, November 7, 2016

No Matter What: Vote

Just another voice in the millions that are crying out into the void: VOTE tomorrow.

Whether you're with her or against her: VOTE.

Whatever your beliefs: VOTE

This country needs us to speak up and make our voices heard.

As an aside: while driving home today I thought, 'if Hillary gets elected, for the first time in our nation's history we'll be saying Madame President'. And if Trump gets elected, for the first time in our nation's history we'll be saying 'Mein Furher'.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Hold Me by Courtney Milan

Jay na Thalang is a demanding, driven genius. He doesn’t know how to stop or even slow down. The instant he lays eyes on Maria Lopez, he knows that she is a sexy distraction he can’t afford. He’s done his best to keep her at arm’s length, and he’s succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

Maria has always been cautious. Now that her once-tiny, apocalypse-centered blog is hitting the mainstream, she’s even more careful about preserving her online anonymity. She hasn’t sent so much as a picture to the commenter she’s interacted with for eighteen months—not even after emails, hour-long chats, and a friendship that is slowly turning into more. Maybe one day, they’ll meet and see what happens.

But unbeknownst to them both, Jay is Maria’s commenter. They’ve already met. They already hate each other. And two determined enemies are about to discover that they’ve been secretly falling in love…

I usually don't like Courtney Milan's writing. I invest in the voice and I find her's to be distant and pedantic. So I started this book expecting that it wouldn't hold my interest.

I was so wrong.

What a good book. And not for the reasons of sexual fluidity that infuse the book but just because the heroine was fascinating and in a strange way, easily relatable.

Carolyn mentioned the book in an earlier post and mentioned that the heroine is transgender but it's not an issue in the book at all. The hero is sexually fluid, having been in a man/man relationship previously.

The book isn't about sex. In fact, when Mollie woke up this morning, she texted me from her bed and I told her I was reading. She jokingly texted back: 'Smut' but I was about 60% into the book and they hadn't even kissed. So sex wasn't anything that it was about.

It was about learning to trust. Learning to lower boundaries. It was about taking chances that people will love and stay and be okay to trust.

I cried a couple of times while reading. It was that good.

I don't do reviews well (obviously) but I can tell you when a book has moved me and made me feel full in my heart and this one did. I highly recommend it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


Short fart checking in.

Third week of new job and things are starting to make sense. Boss has a high intensity personality so it's a lot to take but it all takes time. Once we get used to each other, we'll be fine. And I don't think he had any idea what he was getting when he hired me but this week I started to joke and tease and now he knows more of my personality.

Lots of travel time which is okay. Earlier wake up times which I'm not acclimated to so a lot more tired right now. And here with Nano starting.

Cheating with Nano and using a half finished story. What can I say? Rules are for Republicans. (*snort*)

So looking forward to the end of the election and no more of politics. Well, no more of this crazy political shiz.

It will be so amazing once we're saying 'Madame President'. And if by any chance the Cheetoh wins: then 4 years of saying "I told you so" to my brother will be a poor consolation prize. Especially since I think he'd still support the asshole as he blows up the world.

(Somehow my brother thinks Donald Trump would be better for Israel than Hillary. Go figure.)

In other news:
Mollie has a 4.0 grade point and made National Honor's Roll.
Carolyn got her pesky third nipple removed.
Lea grew an inch in winter but summer is coming and there it goes.
Mosquitos love me.

Obviously, no new nothing to share.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

More October Books ...

I could not pre-order these because they're self published and did not offer that option. That, and Courtney Milan is practically notorious for not having a firm release date.  :-) First up is:

1.  Keepsake (True North Book 3)
     Author: Sarina Bowen
     Publisher: Rennie Road Books
     Released: October 25, 2016
     Price: $3.99

There's a first time for everything.

Lark Wainright used to be fearless. Her life was a series of adventures, each one more exhilarating than the last. But her recent overseas adventure was one too many. Now she’s home and in one piece. Mostly. But her nights are filled with terror.

When her best friend offers her a stay at the orchard in exchange for help at the farmers’ markets, Lark jumps at the chance to spend fall in Vermont. But her nightmares don’t stop. Desperate to keep her fragile state a secret, she relies on the most soft-spoken resident of the Shipley Farm to soothe her when her dreams prove too much.

Zachariah is a survivor, too. It’s been four years since he was tossed aside by the polygamist cult where he grew up. He’s found a peaceful existence on the Shipley’s farm, picking apples and fixing machinery. But getting thrown away by your own people at nineteen leaves a mark on a guy. He doesn’t always know what to make of a world where movie quotes are the primary means of communication. Before hitchhiking to Vermont, he’d never watched TV or spoken on the phone.

Actually, there are a lot of things he’s never done.

Zach and Lark slowly grow to trust one another. One night they become even closer than they’d planned. But Lark may still be too broken to trust anyone. When she pushes Zach away, he will have to prove to himself that he's good for much more than farm labor.

I'm reading this one now. Been waiting for Zach's story. I like everything about his series, the setting (Vermont), the people, the writing. I close the book(s) with a happy sigh because some very nice people have found a very nice ending and I love it when a plan comes together.  

2.  Hold Me (Cyclone Book 2)
     Author: Courtney Milan
     Publisher:  Self Published
     Released:  October 25, 2016
     Price:  $4.99

Jay na Thalang is a demanding, driven genius. He doesn’t know how to stop or even slow down. The instant he lays eyes on Maria Lopez, he knows that she is a sexy distraction he can’t afford. He’s done his best to keep her at arm’s length, and he’s succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

Maria has always been cautious. Now that her once-tiny, apocalypse-centered blog is hitting the mainstream, she’s even more careful about preserving her online anonymity. She hasn’t sent so much as a picture to the commenter she’s interacted with for eighteen months—not even after emails, hour-long chats, and a friendship that is slowly turning into more. Maybe one day, they’ll meet and see what happens.

But unbeknownst to them both, Jay is Maria’s commenter. They’ve already met. They already hate each other. And two determined enemies are about to discover that they’ve been secretly falling in love…

Lots of interesting things about this book, am anxious to see if Milan brings it off. If I remember correctly (from Trade Me), there is a transgender heroine and I admit I'm curious about the logistics of it all. This is out of my life experience and although I've learned a lot since the advent of the internet (I'll turn 70 in February O.o), I'm not familiar with this segment of Romance. Looking forward to reading.  

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Found Another Book *blush*

So, this one sounds interesting and even better - Lori might like it!

Love Literary Style  

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Carolyn's Books for November

Rather a short list for the month of November, but they are all standouts.  :-)

1.  Archangel's Heart
     Author: Nalini Singh
     Publisher: Penguin
     Release: November 1, 2016
     Price: $7.99

One of the most vicious archangels in the world has disappeared. No one knows if Lijuan is dead or has chosen to Sleep the long sleep of an immortal. But with her lands falling into chaos under a rising tide of vampiric bloodlust, a mysterious and ancient order of angels known as the Luminata calls the entire Cadre together to discuss the fate of her territory.
Accompanying her archangelic lover Raphael to the Luminata compound, guild hunter-turned-angel Elena senses that all is not as it seems. Secrets echo from within the stone walls of the compound, and the deeper Elena goes, the uglier the darkness. But neither Raphael nor Elena is ready for the brutal truths hidden within—truths that will change everything Elena thinks she knows about who she is…
Nothing will ever be the same again.

I love this series and, with this book, it's back to Elena and Raphael. While I like reading about Raphael's Seven and their stories, Elena and Raphael are my favorites. They're both so strong and yet so vulnerable. I like how they both grow from book to book, Raphael learning to be more human, Elena discovering her strengths, both of them loving each other. *Sigh*

2.  Someone to Love (A Westcott Novel)
     Author: Mary Balogh
     Publisher: Penguin
     Release: November 8, 2016
     Price: $7.99

The New York Times bestselling author of Only a Kisslaunches a new series with the death of an earl and the revelation of a scandalous secret...
Humphrey Westcott, Earl of Riverdale, has died, leaving behind a fortune that will forever alter the lives of everyone in his family—including the daughter no one knew he had...
Anna Snow grew up in an orphanage in Bath knowing nothing of the family she came from. Now she discovers that the late Earl of Riverdale was her father and that she has inherited his fortune. She is also overjoyed to learn she has siblings. However, they want nothing to do with her or her attempts to share her new wealth. But the new earl’s guardian is interested in Anna…
Avery Archer, Duke of Netherby, keeps others at a distance. Yet something prompts him to aid Anna in her transition from orphan to lady. As London society and her newfound relatives threaten to overwhelm Anna, Avery steps in to rescue her and finds himself vulnerable to feelings and desires he has hidden so well and for so long.

It will be interesting to see how Ms Balogh pulls this one off. You've got some "iffy" tropes here - guardian/not-quite-ward; ligitimate? heir in an orphanage - anxious to discover why. Mary Balogh seldom disappoints so looking forward to this one.

3.  Duke of Pleasure (Maiden Lane Book 11)
     Author: Elizabeth Hoyt
     Publisher: Hachette Book Group
     Release: November 29, 2016
     Price: $7.99

IN THE ARMS OF DANGERBold. Brave. Brutally handsome. Hugh Fitzroy, the Duke of Kyle, is the king's secret weapon. Sent to defeat the notorious Lords of Chaos, he is ambushed in a London alley-and rescued by an unlikely ally: a masked stranger with the unmistakable curves of a woman.


Cocky. Clever. Courageously independent. Alf has survived on the perilous streets of St. Giles by disguising her sex. By day she is a boy, dealing in information and secrets. By night she's the notorious Ghost of St. Giles, a masked vigilante. But as she saves Hugh from assassins, she finds herself succumbing to temptation . . . 


When Hugh hires Alf to investigate the Lords of Chaos, her worlds collide. Once Hugh realizes that the boy and the Ghost are the same, will Alf find the courage to become the woman she needs to be-before the Lords of Chaos destroy them both?

I usually don't like the "female in male disguise" troup, but Alf has been a character in most all of these books so I'm dying to learn her story. Hopefully, it won't disappoint. 

And that's it. Only three for the month of November. But they are top of the line, IMHO :-) . I'll probably happen across more in the intervening days, it always seems to be so, lol.

Happy reading.  

Monday, October 17, 2016

Please Read

This is a long article but well worth the read. I post it with hope in my heart and to show that nurture can be overcome.

Megan's Journey

Sunday, October 16, 2016

The Best Birthday Ever

I might have faced a day of unemployment the week following my birthday, but on my birthday I got the best gift my overflowing heart could desire.

My cousin Debbie emailed me.

To try and explain: Debbie was my first Carolyn
Seriously, we grew up together and she was my best friend. She was the one that I first wrote with (way back when we were writing fan fics before fan fics existed). We shared crushes, fantasies, plans and dreams.

The first poem I ever had published was about her.

We were as tight as could be and then she went to college and my family got funky and somehow we stopped communicating and before you know it... a lifetime has happened but the love still pulses in the heart.

I thought of her a lot, always imagining what her life was. (I was wrong on every count.) She thought of me too and found this blog. She learned about my life, my daughter, Carolyn.  And finally, on my birthday (5 days after hers because we were always close like that), she wrote me. And when I saw her name in my email, I ugly cried because I was so damned happy.

We've been catching up. We have so much shared history that there are things nobody else would understand our laughter and passion. And in some places we're strangers because so many years have happened separately.

I'm so happy she put out her hand.

And I learned something too. Because there was a little part of me that was reluctant because I don't have lots of close friends and I was a little afraid of gaining one might mean losing one. But it's not like that at all. And it never has to be.

I'm so lucky. I have a bunch of women who span my life and know me and like me and who fill my heart with love and laughter and happiness. We share each others highs and lows and we have each others backs.

I feel so freaking lucky. And a serious thank you to all of you who stick with Carolyn and I in reading this blog and/or buying the book (if there were any recent to buy) and just being here whether silent or not. All of you are amazing and we're grateful that you've joined us in whatever way you have.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

This Happened

So my dream job took a few twists and turns and although the job itself remained possibly the most enjoyable job I've ever had, the business decisions going on were becoming rather mind boggling. And since I felt that there was no question I would never get a raise but my responsibilities were guaranteed to grow, it was time to look elsewhere.

I went on one job interview on Wednesday morning last week. Answered one Craigslist ad the night before and a follow up email Wednesday morning.

Went to work Wednesday and did my job. Got a phone call Wednesday night from Craigslist ad employer and we did phone interview.

On Thursday was at  work and the COO invites herself to lunch with me and tells me that the entire business will probably be closing and what do I plan to do? I tell her that I am interviewing.

(Assumption: either she told the boss I was looking elsewhere or the people I interviewed called for a reference.)

End of day Thursday: boss tells me that I am laid off effective immediately. The business is failing and he knows that I'm unhappy and seeking other employment so I'm out.

(Note: I was surprisingly unmoved. I was shocked but didn't feel crushing disappointment or anger or much of anything. It was emotionally bland.)

Friday I get offered a new job.

Old boss breaks the law and is not paying me my final pay in a timely manner. Not a surprise.

Sunday at the beach run into ex-coworker who informs me that she is being told to cover my duties on top of her own and she doesn't have any idea what she's doing. She cries.

So this is how I feel: it was hard talking to the boss and asking to be paid what I'm worth and be acknowledged for my worth. Something he was completely unable to do. Not because I'm not worth it but because he truly doesn't care about others. And his inability to work with me once that was on the table finally came down to him letting me go for no other reason than I kept saying I deserved to be treated right.

I feel like this is what so many women are feeling. We demand we have voices and the response is to close the door and refuse to acknowledge our existence. Once we speak out for ourselves we become a threat and a nuisance and we must be gone.

I'm sad. But I know this was just the tip of my own tiny iceberg of sexism and unfair repercussions for being a woman with a voice. It's just ... hard. That's all I can say.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Time For the Menfolk to Take a Breather

Last night's debate was really eye-opening and classic misogyny played right out for America. Beyond not apologizing to America for ever suggesting sexual assault was okay, Trump threatened Hillary, tried to throw Bill under the bus (when did he start running for president?) and he continued his physical demeaning ways as well as upped it.

Look at the pictures, folks. He stood behind her. He got in her space. He interrupted. And he threatened to jail her even though she has never been found guilty of any crimes.

I watched the debate with my jaw agape because I felt menaced. I felt like I was watching a man trying to break a woman. I felt his threat. I felt the physical difference between the two. He was breathing down her neck and he was breathing down mine.

Women understand men. We have to. From a young age we have men acting inappropriately toward us. We see behavior we aren't old enough to comprehend. We're touched at young ages, we're accosted with words, with unfriendly hands and suggestions we are shamed by.

We learn men because not learning what body language tells us, not learning what is okay and what is menacing could get us raped, could get us dead. My father was a predator and he started my education. I've been grabbed in public by strangers, I've been talked to as a piece of meat. I've been devalued all my life and I know what a threat looks like. Donald Trump acted like a threat last night and I actually felt fear. I felt like Hillary was being threatened with actual violence and it scared me.

This morning I'm shaky and teary. Some of it is what I saw. If you want to talk triggers, Trump played into a lot of mine.

If Donald Trump becomes president (and I really don't think he can), women need to coalition and gather their support together. Donald Trump hates women. Donald Trump is a predator. And we'll have the beginning of the worst fight of our lives.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Trump and The Okay of Sexual Assault

You can't be on the internet right now and not have heard/heard of the recording of Donald Trump talking about how as a celebrity, he could just grab a woman by the pussy. Or his preferred method of come-on was just get her against the wall and start kissing her.

What he didn't say but was implicit: consent is for pussies.

This is a man who has sexualized his own daughters. Who judges women on looks. And who has his own successful, businesswoman daughter in an ad saying 'motherhood is a woman's most important job'.

In the room next door, my daughter is watching videos with her best friend. Neither of them is interested in motherhood. Does that mean they will never be successful? If Trump doesn't find either of them attractive, does that mean they have no worth? And they're both Asian which means that some won't even consider them 'real Americans'.

So if all of this came out and Trump was advertising Celebrity Apprentice 15, we know he'd get dumped by his network, nobody would ever agree to work with him again and he'd fade into anonymity. He would not be considered acceptable by anyone and nobody would fight for him to remain on the air.

So why are they fighting for him to become president? People who will point fingers at Bill Clinton for cheating on his wife, have no issues with Trump saying he would grab your daughters by the pussy if they were attractive enough for him.

How is Donald Trump still a motherfucking candidate for the highest office in this nation? How can the RNC keep him? How can any human being who has the least amount of respect for others, still consider him a viable candidate?

I'm gobsmacked, folks. Completely gobsmacked. I want an explanation. And don't use Hillary as an example. Just explain why you're keeping Trump please.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Liar, Liar

Donald Trump accused Hillary Clinton of cheating on Bill. He was saying she isn't loyal and therefore in the same breath, she obviously has cheated within her marriage vows.

Donald Trump has cheated on two of his three wives. He has made inappropriate remarks about his own daughter. He rates women on their attractiveness.

People are still going to vote for him and I'm baffled.

I asked my brother why. And he started on how Hillary would be the worst ting to happen to America. She could bring on the end of days.

"But she's more moderate than most other Democrats," I said.

"She's evil and the military doesn't support her."

"She can reach across the aisle and has spent her career doing so. She has ties to big money and banks (a reason I don't especially like her) so she won't represent just the poor."

Benghazi was mentioned (I counterclaimed with Bush's record of 11 embassy attacks).

He said she's accomplished nothing in all her years of politics. I mentioned what she has done and he poo-pooed them all.

Donald Trump once said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and it wouldn't lose him a vote. I think he's right. I think the terror of a vagina in the White House after a black man is just melting too many conservative brains.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Carolyn's Books for October

There are several late September books, to begin with:

1.  The Young Blood (No Better Angels Book 4)
     Author: Erin Satie
     Publisher: Little Phrase
     Release: September 27, 2016
     Price: $.99

He's a rake. She's his reckoning.

Sabine Banchory is a sensible, intelligent, and unhappily married woman. She was once a dutiful young lady but years spent trying to curb her husband's excesses have hardened her heart.

She'll have no trouble resisting the charms of the notorious rake, the Earl of Kingston. One despicable wastrel in her life is quite enough, thank you very much.

Seducing the coldly beautiful Sabine won't be a challenge for Kingston. It's true that she slaps him on the face soon after they're introduced but all relationships have to start somewhere. With the right attention, she'll fall into his bed and insist she'd come up with the plan.

A terrible crime interrupts this game of cat and mouse. Caught in its wake, Sabine and Kingston are forced to rely on one another. To trust one another. And, if they dare, to build a loving future together.

I like Erin Satie's books; she has unusual characters and plots. She's just enough different to make it enjoyable.

2.  The Leopard King (Ars Numina Book 1
     Author: Ann Aguirre
     Publisher: Self Published
     Release: September 28,2016
     Price: $2.99

Proud. Imperious. Impassioned.

Until three years ago, those words applied to Dominic Asher, the leader of Ash Valley. His family has ruled the feline branch of the Animari for hundreds of years, guiding the pride through perilous times. Unspeakable loss drove him into seclusion, a feral beast nobody can tame. Now he's wrecked, a leopard king in exile, and he wants nothing more than to die.

Fierce. Loyal. Determined.

Fortunately for Dom, those words still apply to Pru Bristow, his dead mate's best friend. She's had her heart broken too, but she never quits. With the conclave approaching, alliances with the Pine Ridge pack and Burnt Amber clans on the verge of collapse, she's prepared to do whatever it takes to drag their leader back, before his second can start a war.

At best theirs seems like a desperate alliance, but when their mate bond turns hot and fierce, there's no end to the questions and the doubts. Neither of them expects to fall in love. But sometimes people don't know what they're looking for until they find it.
Proud. Imperious. Impassioned.

Until three years ago, those words applied to Dominic Asher, the leader of Ash Valley. His family has ruled the feline branch of the Animari for hundreds of years, guiding the pride through perilous times. Unspeakable loss drove him into seclusion, a feral beast nobody can tame. Now he's wrecked, a leopard king in exile, and he wants nothing more than to die.

Fierce. Loyal. Determined.

Fortunately for Dom, those words still apply to Pru Bristow, his dead mate's best friend. She's had her heart broken too, but she never quits. With the conclave approaching, alliances with the Pine Ridge pack and Burnt Amber clans on the verge of collapse, she's prepared to do whatever it takes to drag their leader back, before his second can start a war.

At best theirs seems like a desperate alliance, but when their mate bond turns hot and fierce, there's no end to the questions and the doubts. Neither of them expects to fall in love. But sometimes people don't know what they're looking for until they find it.

I like Ann Aguirre's writing. I haven't read all of her books, but this one sounded interesting and I would like a new series to follow.

3.  The Goal
     Author: Elle Kennedy
     Publisher: Self Published
     Release: September 26,2016
     Price: $4.99

New York Times bestseller Elle Kennedy brings you a sexy new Off-Campus novel that can be read as a standalone… 

She’s good at achieving her goals… 

College senior Sabrina James has her whole future planned out: graduate from college, kick butt in law school, and land a high-paying job at a cutthroat firm. Her path to escaping her shameful past certainly doesn’t include a gorgeous hockey player who believes in love at first sight. One night of sizzling heat and surprising tenderness is all she’s willing to give John Tucker, but sometimes, one night is all it takes for your entire life to change. 

But the game just got a whole lot more complicated 

Tucker believes being a team player is as important as being the star. On the ice, he’s fine staying out of the spotlight, but when it comes to becoming a daddy at the age of twenty-two, he refuses to be a bench warmer. It doesn’t hurt that the soon-to-be mother of his child is beautiful, whip-smart, and keeps him on his toes. The problem is, Sabrina’s heart is locked up tight, and the fiery brunette is too stubborn to accept his help. If he wants a life with the woman of his dreams, he’ll have to convince her that some goals can only be made with an assist.
Enjoy her writing.


And now on to October. There's not too many and some are iffy as to whether I'll keep them on the list.

1.  In Safe Hands (Search and Rescue Book 4)
     Author: Katie Ruggles
     Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca
     Release: October 4, 2016
     Price: $4.61

He was her hero,
But one wrong move ended their future before it could begin.
Now he'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe,
Even if that means turning against one of his own.
As a member of the Field County Sheriff's Department, Chris Jennings is used to having it rough. The Colorado Rockies aren't for the weak-of-spirit, but he's devoted his life to upholding the law—and to protecting the one woman he knows he can never have. He'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
Daisy Little has lived in agoraphobic terror for over eight years. Trapped within a prison of her own making, she watches time pass through her bedroom window. Daisy knows she'll never be a part of the world...until the day she becomes the sole witness of a terrible crime that may finally tear the Search & Rescue brotherhood apart for good.
In the remote Rocky Mountains, lives depend on the Search & Rescue brotherhood. But in a place this far off the map, trust is hard to come by and secrets can be murder...

I've read the previous books in this series and enjoyed them all, so I preordered this one. I like her writing and the Search and Rescue is different from the usual. 

2.  Taming the Vampire
     Author: Various
     Publisher: The Raven Books
     Release: October 31,2016
     Price: $.99
Featuring OVER 25 All New Alpha Vampire Tales from NYT, USA Today and National Bestselling Authors! Limited Time Boxed Set!

From sinfully sexy, charismatic bad boys with a thirst for more than blood, to toe-curling hotties with rough edges just waiting to be tamed, these vampire tales will burn the pages and melt your heart. Over 25 of today's top selling authors have come together to form a collection that is filled with magic, mystery, mayhem and most importantly happily ever afters.

Anthology Includes: Vampires, Nightwalkers, Werewolves & Shifters, Immortal, Slayers, Hunters, Demons & Devils, Paranormal & Urban, Military,  Alpha Male, Fae, Genetic Engineering, Psychics, Telepathy, Witches & Wizards, Contemporary, Ghosts, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Suspense, Special Forces, Dragons, Demons, Billionaires, Magic, Fantasy, Futuristic, Historical, Angels, Blue Collar, Gargoyles, Valkyrie, Berserker, Multicultural, Norse Mythology, Dark Magic, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Slayer, Dhamphir, Bikers, BBW, Time Travel, Motorcycle Club, Friends to Lovers and so much more!

I got this one because Jennifer Ashley has a story in it, but there are some other names I recognize. Just hope it's not erotica.  :-)  Willing to take a chance for this price. 

3.  Otherworld Chills
     Author: Kelley Armstrong
     Publisher: Penguin Group
     Release: October 4, 2016
     Price:  $11.99
Embrace the obscure. In the final installment of the Otherworld anthology series, New York Times bestselling author Kelley Armstrong once again opens the gates to the Otherworld. This collection of rare and never-before-published novellas and short stories brings the clever wit, dark twists, and intense suspense Otherworld readers have come to expect. Favorite characters return, secrets are revealed, and several important storylines reach their conclusions. 

New Kelley Armstrong novellas? A no brainer.

And, that's it for October. I believe November is more prolific (at the moment).

Enoy your reading, no matter what or where.  :-)

Give Peace a Chance

Annual Peace Parade in Honokaa. It was a small parade but so enjoyable to be in town and realize that in a couple short years, most of the people I saw I knew by sight.

Watched some young women do hula in a quiet, fully dressed, soft way and was enchanted. So beautiful: the small movements with such grace. Such large meaning.

I have signed up to receive 2 Beauty Boxes. One from Ipsy and one from Walmart. They're both cheap -- the Ipsy one is $10/monthly and Walmart is only $5/quarterly. It should be fun to get creams and beauty supplies and nail polish... I love nail polish.

Writing again. Stopped for about 2 weeks but now going strong again.

Real tired. Tomorrow has a few chores but Mollie and I are planning a quiet day together with a big delish dinner just the two of us. We're meatloafing and doing the mashed potato. Brownies for dessert.

We like those few times we get to be alone. We really just like each other.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Not The Same

A few random thoughts:

At my job we have a couple of patients who are called "professional patients" because they're very hyper-aware of everything moderately medical and spend much of their time taking care of their various ailments. Which isn't to say they don't have legitimate complaints but rather, they're just annoying.

And female.

It occurred to me the other day when I got a phone call from another doctor's office about a patient who was in their office, there's another of our professional patients! But then I realized it was a man. And when I started thinking about it, had to recognize that the majority of our professional patients are, in fact, men.

Which then got me thinking about how much I dislike the p.p. women and thinking about it I recognized that I dislike the men just as much and all this time I never realized how sexist it was to point at the women only when the men are as bad or even worse. Also, the women are usually single. The men are often married and their wives are in on the action.

Which then reminded me of something wonderful I read that said in comparing Hillary and Donald, one can't compare because they are not the same. It's not picking the lesser of two evils when one is slightly icky because her ties to big money and changing sides on certain issues and the other is a racist, misogynist, xenophobic narcissist capable of starting WW3.

Nope, not the same at all.

And for those who love to bring up Bill and Monica: Trump cheated on wife #1 with wife #2 and has made inappropriate comments about his own daughter. I'll take Bill over that.

And on top of all this, I realized that one of the hardest things I ever did was ask for a raise because the work I do and how well I do it deserves greater monetary compensation. And being told no, then devalued me. And feeling devalued has changed how I feel about my job and my boss and I hate work now.

What a fuck fest.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Well damn...

You know that moment when you figure out what's been getting in your way forever?

I was writing a story and at 30,000 words it fizzled. Completely stopped. So then I put it aside and started something that's been writing itself. Until I hit 30,000 words.

30,000 words is my killer. So I decided to look at it in a logical way and figured out that instead of trying to power through or make myself crazy, I should accept 30,000 as my magic number.

So I wrote 30,000 words of the new story and love it. Part One is done. Now I'm starting Part Two which will have the second part of the story and be another 30,000 words.


Lemons, meet lemonade. I'm thirsty.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Hold Your Breath by Katie Ruggle

Lou is a hurricane. 
A walking disaster. 
And with her, Callum's never felt more alive...even if keeping her safe may just kill him.
Lou's new to the Rockies, intent on escaping her controlling ex, and she's determined to make it on her own matter how tempting her ice dive captain Callum Cook may be. But when a routine training exercise unearths a body, Lou and Callum find themselves thrust into a deadly game of cat and mouse with a killer who'll stop at nothing to silence Lou and prove that not even her new Search & Rescue brotherhood can keep her safe forever.
In the remote Rocky Mountains, lives depend on the Search & Rescue brotherhood. But in a place this far off the map, trust is hard to come by and secrets can be murder...

I completely enjoyed this book. 
The story was told in third person from the heroine's POV only. Somehow, it only made Cal more loveable. The reader got to witness his surrender to the inevitable from a more remote viewpoint than being in his head, and yet I knew what he was feeling and even thinking sometimes, just by his interactions with Lou. And Lou - ah Lou!
I do like feisty, independent heroines, but when they get idiotically stubborn, so that they're a danger to themselves and others, well, that's when the book hits the wall, metaphorically speaking since I use a Kindle Fire. This heroine was NOT like that. She was a sheer joy. She was mature and grownup and recognized Cal's need to protect her and she grew adept at reading beneath his grumpy exterior to the loving person underneath. I truly admired her for that, because strong relationships are built on give and take - compromise - and Cal did his giving too, recognizing her need for independence.
The characters grabbed me so, the plot was almost incidentental. Okay, that's an exaggeration, the plot was pretty good, had me skimming so badly that I'll probably have to reread to get all the details. But the characters are just a joy to read, expecially Lou (and you know I'm not heroine-centric).
An example: Lou's money earning job is as a waitress at the local diner. Cal started keeping her company in the evenings, since she's alone and nefarious things have been happening and she's gotten into the habit of saving him a fancy scone. This particular evening there is a couple having coffee and the lady wants a scone ...

"Excuse me." The female half of the eavesdropping couple took a step closer to the counter. "Are there any more of those scones?"
Lou pasted a regretful smile on her face. "Sorry, no. This was the last one."
"I didn't see it in the display." The woman scowled. "I specifically asked if you had any scones, and you said you were out."
"I had to hold this one back. It was defective."
"Defective?' Her eyes darted between Lou's expression of fake sympathy and the small bite of scone Callum hadn't eaten yet. "It looked fine."
"I licked it." Lou heard Callum choke on the last piece of scone, but she couldn't look at him or she would start laughing. If his airway was blocked, he was going to have to give himself the Heimlich.
The woman's suspicious expression didn't ease. "Why did you let him eat it then?"
"Oh, his tongue is in my mouth all the time," Lou said sweetly, and Callum's coughing increased. "I didn't think he'd mind my germs."
With a sound of frustration the woman stormed out of the shop, followed closely by the male half of the couple. The bells rang merrily as the door closed behind them, as if celebrating their absence.
"Sparks," Callum rasped once his coughing died down. "You're going to kill me."
"But what a way to go."
"True." Grabbing her hand, he pulled her closer and leaned across the counter. "Now give me some of those germs."

There's a novella that preceeds this story, On His Watch, free at Amazon and I presume most other sellers. Lou and Cal both appear, but the story is of Derek, part of the Search and Rescue team, and how he found his romance and HEA.
And I'm on to read the next in the series, Fan the Flames, the story of the beautiful Ian. And, y'all, I have to say there are some really different characters and eccentrics in these books. Ian himself is one, a firefighter and also in a local MC. His heroine, Rory is another. From what I can gather her parents, who are dead now (haven't found out when or how yet) were a little bit on the wrong side of the law and she has inherited their business. Will try to do a non-review on this book too. :-)
So, in case you didn't pick up on this, I like this book and this series. It's not great literature, but it is entertaining literature with likeable characters and lots of eccentrics to warm my little heart. 
Totally recommended.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

With Sadness

You start to become aware, in your thirties and forties that the people in your parent's generation start dying. The movie stars of their childhood, the musicians and politicians and ultimately their parents, aunts and uncles and sometimes, even their older siblings.

But our generation will live forever. Until they don't anymore.

It's one thing to lose a Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston from drug abuse. Shocking to lose Prince. But then Glenn Frey of the Eagles and it started to feel really close to home.

Now people around us are losing those that are dear to them and it's a clarion call in the night. We are now that age. We are now losing our generation and soon our older siblings and childhood icons will pass.

In one week, two women Carolyn and I both care about lost their mothers. Carolyn just went through the loss of her beloved.

We're all so fragile. And time has such a strong way of reminding us how much.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

I'm in Lurve

If you've known me for a while, or even for a day, then you know I got my novel writing experience from writing fan fics.And whether you love or hate them, I unabashedly love them and am proud of some of the fics I wrote (and those I wrote with Carolyn).

I enjoy writing but I haven't had the same level of pure enjoyment in writing once I stopped writing fan fic. And I had a lot of reasons I assumed it was but recently I found out the truth.

Because I haven't been in love with the hero.

When I wrote fan fic, I was in love with my hero. I looked at his picture, I fantasized about him (and those fantasies became part of what I wrote), I felt giddy. When my heroes became characters I created with a little fandom shaping them, I wasn't as in love and the writing missed something.

I discovered this because I'm writing right now and I am in love with my hero. Utterly crazy about him. I want to write all the time so I can spend time with him. I want to know what he's going to do next. How will he win the heroine who is adamantly declaring herself unwinnable?

The secret about my hero is.... I'm writing a fanfic. I just spent the last couple of months binge watching House on Netflix and became completely immersed in that world. And I 100%, utterly and completely think Wilson is a hero. And in the realm of living in the afterglow of the show, I'm in love with Wilson.

So my character is Wilson. He's a little bit perfect but he has limits. He's sincere. He's the second banana and willing to remain so. And he's a perfect romance hero.

I'd write more about him but right now he needs to go fight with the heroine a little bit more. Then I have to figure out if it's going to be a gift of a cat or a hamster. But I trust Wilson will make the right choice.

I can't wait to find out. 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Understanding Triggers

My conservative brother and my liberal self have been in agreement with the "safe spaces" and "trigger warnings" that American colleges have adapted recently. I don't think it's a pussyfication of America but I do think it's going too far.

When you need a safe space because you see a Trump 2016 poster, you really need to get a grip. And I hate to think what's going to happen when you enter the workforce and get an asshole boss. Ain't no safe spaces in the real world, Petunia.

Which doesn't mean that there aren't things that are going to trip your trigger. Such as: Carolyn bought us I Give You My Body by Diana Gabaldon, her how to write sex book. And it tripped my trigger. I had to delete it from my Kindle and I suffered a very nasty reaction to something she wrote.

(And by the way: although she's a great writer, she doesn't write sexy in a way that makes me interested. I wouldn't suggest the book because her sex scenes are not sexy.)

Diana Gabaldon didn't write the book with the knowledge that something she wrote about rape would make anyone react badly. Carolyn didn't buy and share the book thinking there was anything in it that would make me cry. The trigger was mine based on my experiences. And part of what's necessary for me to survive in this world is to recognize that I, like everyone, have triggers and I'm going to have to face them now and again.

Sometimes it might be a Trump 2016 sign. And if it is, then place your I'm With Her sign next to it and keep moving. Sometimes it's a scene in a book or movie that floods you with bile. Acknowledge it, keep moving on.

It doesn't hurt to have trigger warnings but it shouldn't always be necessary and we shouldn't always have to be careful. The world is unpleasant and we face unpleasantness within it. It's our job to learn how to exist with things that bother us. We have to learn how to emotionally get past those moments. And we need to remember that just because it affects me in a bad way, doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

Part of what makes me strong is getting past the things that make me weak.

And Carolyn and I have talked about trigger warnings on other blogs and really aren't interested in them on this blog. If something trips your trigger then we're here to discuss it with you if you like, but we wont try to coddle you in our space because of it. Lean to suck it up Buttercup, and become the functioning adult we know you can be.