I might have faced a day of unemployment the week following my birthday, but on my birthday I got the best gift my overflowing heart could desire.
My cousin Debbie emailed me.
To try and explain: Debbie was my first Carolyn
The first poem I ever had published was about her.
We were as tight as could be and then she went to college and my family got funky and somehow we stopped communicating and before you know it... a lifetime has happened but the love still pulses in the heart.
I thought of her a lot, always imagining what her life was. (I was wrong on every count.) She thought of me too and found this blog. She learned about my life, my daughter, Carolyn. And finally, on my birthday (5 days after hers because we were always close like that), she wrote me. And when I saw her name in my email, I ugly cried because I was so damned happy.
We've been catching up. We have so much shared history that there are things nobody else would understand our laughter and passion. And in some places we're strangers because so many years have happened separately.
I'm so happy she put out her hand.
And I learned something too. Because there was a little part of me that was reluctant because I don't have lots of close friends and I was a little afraid of gaining one might mean losing one. But it's not like that at all. And it never has to be.
I'm so lucky. I have a bunch of women who span my life and know me and like me and who fill my heart with love and laughter and happiness. We share each others highs and lows and we have each others backs.
I feel so freaking lucky. And a serious thank you to all of you who stick with Carolyn and I in reading this blog and/or buying the book (if there were any recent to buy) and just being here whether silent or not. All of you are amazing and we're grateful that you've joined us in whatever way you have.