Friday, August 27, 2010

Embracing the Asexual

Over at Mrs. Giggle's blog she's pointed the way to the newest Romanceland kerfluffle which involves those women writing m/m fiction for other women while claiming to be tri-sexual. Or vi-sexual. Or any sexual that doesn't really embrace their middle-aged, overweight, caucasian, heterosexual lives.

Now I'm truly not judging them. I'm not. I just always remember Roseanne Barr's joke that God created gay men so fat women would have someone to dance with.

Anyway, apparently part of the kerfluffle is that these women are trying to claim other sexuality status while writing about the gay experience. It's fascinating reading. and I have no idea what they're claiming to be. It's no longer just gay/straight/bi. Now people are transgendered, queer without being gay, intergendered, extraterrestrialgendered...

I've decided to get right in the middle of all this kerfluffle by writing a novel where an asexual hero finds love with himself but society misunderstands and tears hm apart. Not literally. Or perhaps...

Seriously though, is it really that much of a matter in anyone's life that women are writing feminized gay romance books? They have their audience and if you just ignore them they'll probably wank themselves into oblivion.

My books title: Embraceable Me.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Pen Names

Angela James did a great blog post on the Carina blog about pen names.

I've chosen not to use a pen name because seriously, I like what I do and want people to know I did it. If, however, I were to use a pen name I think I would use something classy like Valencia Orangia. Or perhaps, Betty Cocker.

Maybe Creamy DeWhipp.

what would you use? Carolyn?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Personal History of Lust

It started when I was very young and Davy Jones was the first. He made my adolescent heart pound.

Davy was followed by Michael Cole (the Mod Squad) and David Soul (Starsky and Hutch) and David Cassidy (the Partridge Family). But really, Davy was my first. And even now I see him sometimes and get that feeling deep inside of wistfulness and desire.

You never outgrow the first one.

Keanu is a constant. No matter his age, he always looks like God took a little extra time in making him.

I mention Keanu in my writing. He's the constant that all my female characters share. Keanu covered in whipped cream.

I heart Keanu.

Then we move to a shared expression of love/lust that united these two Old Farts.

Meet Carlos Marin.

Carlos is the baritone in Il Divo. and before you judge us, yes, we know Il Divo is a cheese-fest but we love them anyway. And listen to Carlos sing and you'll understand that it's more than the Colgate smile and crinkly eyes (and let's not forget to mention the chest hair.) This man can sing.

He also can inspire two middle aged women to thinking about romance and then wading into the pool of romance writing.

Thank you Carlos.

My current lusty obsession is Mr. Anthony Stewart Head from Buffy. My daughter and I have been on a Buffy glom recently and I've been on a Head glom.

I'm enjoying the studious, starchy, British librarian that Giles was and it has me thinking of a plot for a story. Something with a brash American witch and a British Witch Consul coming to destroy her.

I love these fellas. Who are your histories with?

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Power of Words

I posted this over on my personal blog but wanted to post it here also.

So Dr. Laura thinks she can use the N-word a few times (like what? 11 times?) and then claim her First Amendment rights were denied her when there's a hue and cry. First Amendment rights mean she could say the word. Nobody denied her that. But those same rights allow me and anyone else to suggest that fetid piece of hag no longer have a national platform to speak her inanities and prejudices.

Why is it that the right wing asshats who don't believe that anyone who isn't straight, white and American born should be treated as equals to their gloriness complain the loudest when they stick their feet in it and get caught?

Those crazy anti-gay preachers and politicians who are caught with rent boys and prostitutes. Oh how they cry foul. The bitches who support the policies of war and hate run crying when their obvious hatred is finally shown to the world.

Jennifer Aniston got in trouble for using the word retard during an interview and I'll admit that my first reaction was a shrug of the shoulders. A so what? kind of thing. But then I was remembering that moment when I was talking to a neighbor near the garbage cans and he mentioned that Chink gardener and my life froze. "My daughter is Chinese" I said quietly and my world changed.

I was in fourth grade (the year my daughter is entering into) when an Arab schoolmate told me that being Jewish was bad. Last year my daughter was called a Chinese traitor by a Vietnamese classmate. She's still hurting over those words.

Jennifer Aniston fucked up out of ignorance and she needs to apologize big time. She has a national platform and she owes it to the world to recognize why words have power and she misused a word and caused pain.

Dr. Laura needs to shut her yap and remember that the God of our Fathers is a God who created the world and inhabitants in love. That God would never use the N-word and probably smite anyone who did.

It's harder and harder to walk that fine line of correct speech but there's a reason we should do it. We owe it to the world to watch the words we put out there. We owe it to the people around us to add to the universe power and love, not hatred and strife.

We're all in this together. Let's show the person next to us the same understanding we want to be shown. Don't brag about the fact that you don't even try to be politically correct. It's not about politics. It's about love.

Don't use your words to bring more hate into the world. Use your words to stop the hate from spreading. Dr. Laura needs to lose her platform. Anyone who uses a platform to spread hate needs to be silenced by our voices speaking out in love.

It's time we demand to be heard also.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Other

Jane, over at dear author, put up an amazing post about feeling like The Other (in your environment and in your mind).

It really resonated with me on a variety of levels. Her thoughts about reading books with Asian heroines and how much it means to her as an Asian woman in the midwest was fascinating. What I thought while reading was that we all consider ourselves other from the rest of the world. And I'm willing to bet that those who see books as more than just a throwaway pleasure feel it more than anyone else.

In reading we stop being ourselves and we become that bright and plucky heroine or the kick-ass Alpha that we're not in our own heads. In reading we stop being fat, old, ugly, awkward (pick your own negative thought and inset it here) and we become the woman who can charm the hero, catch the crook and make a perfect pie crust.

In books we find others who don't see themselves as worth much and we sigh and feel a kinship. We aren't other when we read because we belong to the story, to the fiction, to the imagination.

Personal story: yesterday I was with my daughter and her friend, Mr. Z (both 9 years old). Mr. Z came to me upset and said that he didn't like it when my daughter Mollie talks about what's happening in her life because she has so much fun and excitement and he has none. He feels so lacking, he complained.

Mollie wasn't telling Z about a trip to the Andes or turning into a vampire. She was saying we had concert tickets and a movie date with a friend and we're moving to a new house. But Z felt lacking in comparison.

I told Z that Mollie feels lacking to him. He has two parents and a sibling, a cat and a dog, a normal family unit. (As normal as the 1950s, that is.) Next to him, Mollie feels lacking and other.
One person's life is never as good as what we perceive someone else's is.

Anyway, wordiness aside...

Sometimes I see someone, usually a female someone, who is attractive and trim and looks happy and dresses well and envy sets in. She has more than I do, I think. She fits in the world better. She's not other. And when I'm astute I realize that she's like a novel: if she told her story I'd lose myself in her and neither of us would feel separate or other any longer.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Bodice Rippers: It's Available

We want to thank those of you who suggested Smashwords for our piece of crap.

And to celebrate the upcoming publications of Old Farts non-craptastic writing, click on the pic, download the story that made Angela James bleach her eyeballs and admire our willingness to really suck.

It's because we love you all.

It's Official!

I haven't wanted to say too much, because my life is lived by Murphy's Law.

However! I've printed out and am holding in my hot little hands the welcome package from Lyrical Press, complete with tax forms. Oh lord - unbelievable!

So this is the official announcement: The Seduction of Lady Bea, a contempory romance, is to be published by Lyrical Press, hopefully in the not too distant future. *big, BIG grin*

I love to write, I love to craft stories, but this would not have happened without Lori. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Lori.

My life will be changing - already I can tell, I've reactivated my FB account, lol - but for the better. As Lori says - we're gonna have fun.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Addendum to LISM

I finished Lady Isabella's Scandelous Marrige last night and I'm glad to report action was added other than bedroom action. Yay!

I enjoyed the last half of the book, but found myself skimming all the ruminations of the two main characters - they were starting to repeat themselves.

There was a short excerpt of the third book - The Many Sins of Lord Cameron. Coming soon, they said. Although it's hard to say because it was not a long segment, it seemed much more interesting.

So - I suppose I'll take a chance on the third book when it's released.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Lady Isabella's Scandelous Marriage

It's a good thing I'm not a reviewer, because I haven't finished this book and we all know what happens when you bring up DNFs! That's not to say I won't finish it, I probably will. I just had to post and ask - WTF???

I'm in the third section of Chapter 8 and nothing has happened! Oh, there's been losts of lusting and Mac has found his Muse and painted three nekkid pictures of Isabella. From memory. We know the color of the hair on her head, and the color of the hair on her pubis, in all sorts of positions and in all sorts of lighting, while using all sorts of paints. That's about all we know.

Oh, okay, some backstory has been given. We know they love each other and always have. Isabella doesn't trust Mac - I get that. And he's trying to prove himself to her, therefore he forces himself not to bed her, although he could because she's in complete lust.

Eight chapters of this. I'm sure there's a plot in there somewhere (maybe the painting fraud will be enlarged upon?), but I'm getting a little tired of all this lusting and petting and mental anguish. Just fuck her already, will you Mac?

Ahem. Sorry about that. I'm past menopause so maybe I no longer have the appreciation that others seem to have for this book. Of course, it's early days yet (I hope). Ian and Beth have showed up, so I'm hopeful.

I'll continue reading, but after The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie, I was expecting so much more.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Genres I Hate

I'm sticking my neck out here and admitting that I read Hummingbird by LaVeryle Spencer (as should you) and loved it but I don't have the love for westerns. There's something intrisically tired with the cowboy and the school-marm.

Even Victoria Dahl couldn't do it with B/D.

Urban fantasy. Blech. When the heroine is a kick-ass, smart-ass ass I just don't give a rats ass.

Modern romances based on the novels of Jane Austen. Outlaw them already.

YA. What's the fucking point? I read adult novels as a teen. Why would I read teen novels as an adult?

What about you?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

It Happened!

We are pleased, delighted and absolutely giddy to announce


Let the dancing commense.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

What the Librarian Done Did and Didn't Done Do

What the Librarian Did by Karina Bliss
Harlequin SuperRomance

This book was reviewed by everybody and got such amazing, awesome reviews that I had to read it. Carolyn had to read it. The lady who was sitting at the bus-stop in a puddle of her own making (eewww!) was reading it.

We done did read it.

Quick synopsis: Rachel is a librarian who hides her emotions behind librarian clothes. Devin is a bad-boy rocker who has returned to school and sobriety. Mark is a kid looking for his birth mother who is ... well, not Devin. Doh!

It was a quick read and pleasurable. Karina Bliss understands humor and so one liners flew, zingers zinged and the scene where the garden club shows up... priceless!

Carolyn said that she would have been happy had this book left out the entire Mark story-line and just had the Devin/Rachel zinginess. I disagree moderately because Mark was, in many ways, the moral compass for the story.

I liked, no I loved, the hero with a hard drinking, drug using, groupie banging past. I could read a million more books with heroes just like him.

Rachel was a bit of a bore. She was smart and hurting and all but her mission in the book was to be reactive, for the most part. I missed the connection with her except when she put Devin in his place. And despite the enjoyment I had with the story, I never really saw why Rachel was the woman Devin would fall in love with.

I enjoyed how Harlequin has allowed it's brand to change and I really enjoyed reading a story with humor and hard rock. What I felt like was ... well, watching the Bachelorette. Where everyone is beautiful and slightly plastic and says lines that sound perfect and slightly plastic...

I'd read Karina Bliss again. I'd read rock star heroes happily. I just wish there was more heroine to love as well as the hero.

Monday, August 2, 2010


We're doing some happy dancing over here in our teeny tiny corner of blog-land. Carolyn is writing again!! (Carolyn has also gained an editor's attention and we're waiting to see if we're going to be making THE announcement soon.)

We've decided that before we throw our little piece of shit story out to the wolves of of self-pub, we're going to do a revise and resubmit to Loose-ID. So if you know any of the editors there, warn them to sheild their eyes. This ain't going to be pretty.

Lori finished edits on Book 1 (666 Angel Lane) and now starting pre-edits on Book 2 (Sugar B's Back in Town).

We've been falling a little behind in blogging because we feel like we're running into walls. So we were thinking of posting pictures of naked men to hide the fact that we're so slow at providing original content.

Did it work?