Where is Carolyn?

Oh my goodness, I have been inudated with cries of concern, Where is Carolyn? The lack of posts by the laconic redhead has been noticed and is worrying so many of you.

Why just this morning I got an email that read:

Dear Short Fart,

I was wondering if you finally snapped and killed your writing partner? Her lack of posts, silence and obvious avoidance of this blog is pretty glaring.

If you did it for profit, good for you. If you did it to run off with her husband, that's tacky but understandable since you need some light bulbs that need to be changed. And if you did it for practice, that's why you have cats.

Please come clean.

Love, Mom

Well here's the unvarnished truth. Carolyn has had this little known medical condition called glitterclitter wherein everytime she sunbathes nude, her clitoris lights up like a goddamned Christmas tree. She's like a sexual Edward Cullen on display. Seriously, sunlight is her enemy. Makes her look lit between the legs.

So she's had a little procedure to fix it. Right now she's laying in a dark room, her poor little nubbin swollen and sad and she's promising to come back and post soon.

Don't cry for her, Art and Tina.