Crazy For Crusie

Lori:

I don't know if everybody has a go-to book but I do and it's Crazy For You by Jennifer Cruisie. It's a paperback copy I've had for years and one that's been read again and again.

There are lots of Cruisie's I love but this book moves beyond them all, actually moves beyond any book and is my #1 reread.

Why? I hope I can do it justice as I try to explain.

On a gloomy March afternoon, sitting in the same high school classroom she'd been sitting in for thirteen years, gritting her teeth as she told her significant other for the seventy-second time since they'd met that she'd be home at six because it was Wednesday and she was always home at six on Wednesdays, Quinn McKenzie lifted her eyes from the watercolor assignments on the desk in front of her and met her destiny.

Her destiny was a small black dog with desperate eyes, so she missed the significance at first.

And so the story begins.

Quinn is a woman in her mid-thirties who has been in a relationship with the high-school coach but not really in love with him and then a dog shows up and changes her life.

Quinn leaves the coach (he deserves it because he takes the dog to the pound after Quinn decides she wants to keep it) and she decides to start getting what she wants. And what she wants is to buy a house, to have her dog and to be in a relationship with Nick, her ex-brother in law.

Everybody in Quinn's life tries to change her mind but she fights for the life she wants. And slowly they all start to question their own lives. And the world descends into utter chaos as her mother kicks her father out, her best friend leaves her husband, her favorite student decides to date the school jock and the coach goes slowly insane ina way that's sad and scary to read.

Because it's Jennifer Cruisie there's great humor with punchy dialogue, strong women and sexy sex.

But the reason it's my #1 best book evah is because I love Quinn to pieces, I love how the coach goes crazy and goes from benign to seriously creepy and dangerous in a believable way to the end where SPOILER... Quinn beats the shit out of him in the last stand because he tries to hurt her dog.

No joke. This book has it all and does it all so brilliantly.

Even the bad girl in the book who sleeps with married men is someone that you can understand and feel sympathy for.

I read this book again today and just writing about it makes me want to dive back into the story. It's just that good.


Carolyn:

I read this book some time ago and am in the process of rereading it now. It didn't have the same effect on me as it did Lori. I think my favorite Crusie is Bet Me.

This time round, I'm struck by the writing. Everything flows. I mean, just look at that first sentence. It's a long sentence, y'all! Don't see so many of them anymore these days. And it made perfect sense, was easy to follow and told us so much about Quinn. In just one sentence.

The thing about Crusie, is that she writes likeable protagonists. They all have their flaws, but there's really nothing kickass about them. They're normal, everyday people you'd like to call friend. Even the secondary characters. Except the coach, he made my teeth ache from the beginning and I started the book thinking Quinn TSTL for staying with him so long.

But it's a real pleasure to watch Quinn's evolution and it all started with a ratty looking black dog that only she seemed to love.

I think I'm about to go on a Crusie glom. :-)

Holy Moly!

I had a doctor's appointment today.

I gave up doctors several years ago for my mental health and physical comfort. I had doctors coming out the wazoo.

There was the doctor for the nether regions - and may I just say I'm sick and tired of poking my ass in the air while someone sits between my legs and pokes back.

Then there was the doctor that specialized in a small portion of the nether regions. He liked to put lights into my bladder, which neither I nor my bladder appreciated.

The eye doctor. Oh man, if you've got a child, please do encourage them to go into optometry. They'll make a killing. Most of that stuff isn't covered by insurance either and I almost fainted when I learned the cost of my new prescription lenses.

The EENT. I've learned to accept my sinuses without the intervention of the EENT. He wanted to send me for some damn expensive tests. Once I came to my senses, I cancelled them and bought some Chlortabs.

I have yet to go to the guy who wants to stick a light up my ass. Of course, I may regret this some day, but right now it's all good and I'm rocking along just fine.

Dentists. Oh geeze, need I say more?

The thing is, if you have a body part, there's a doctor that doctors only on that particular body part and even if you go to a GP, if said body part misbehaves, you can find yourself at a specialist and another doctor is added to the roll call.

When the hell am I supposed to work? Do these medical people think my boss appreciates all the time I'd have to take to keep them happy? I'm here to say he doesn't and neither do I.

Today's appointment? I'll live. ;-) Seems I'm depressed and need counciling and a mild antidepressant and lots of blood work. Even a sleep study!

*sigh*

Maybe next year when my sick time and vacation time start all over again.

I've Arrived!

Yes indeedy, I done got pirated.

Got a google alert for 666 Angel Lane and I went over to check what it was and heck and hell, it was a download forum. Yup, illegal downloads.

My publisher sent me a form letter which I sent them and it came down immediately. I was so excited though. I done got robbed.

On another note: Carolyn took a look at the site and said they had pics of transgendered people having sex. Don't know how my writing fits that theme...

The Rake's Snake and His Trouser Trouble

So I've discovered that if you add flour to the sauce...

Speaking of saucy, my new book The Rake's Snake and His Trouser Trouble has the sauciest hero...

*****

And the mileage I get on my Hyundai...

Speaking of mileage, the heroine in my new romance novel, The Rake's Snake and His Trouser Trouble...

Get where I'm going with this?

Carolyn and I write books. We've both had books published. We'd like people to buy our books but... we refuse to be annoying about it. Why can't other writers follow the simple rules of not promoting every fucking place they can?

When I'm reading an interesting thread on another peson's blog, its not a place where I want to jump in to promote my book. It's like pooping on their lawn. Take a crap in your own toilet and leave their lawn alone!

And by the way: if all you do on Facebook is promo yourself, I'm going to drop you. Unless you're Stephen King, you're only that successful in your own mind. Be appropriate!

I just get annoyed when I see a conversation taking place and some small fry author jumping in to mention their own bok. I'm beginning to think that it should be illegal to mention your own writing. And tacky. It's sooooo tacky.

And speaking of tacky, there's a really sticky situation that takes place in my new book The Rake's Snake and His Trouser Trouble. You should check it out.**

**no such book exists but it's a wonderful title if you want to steal it.

Oh No, They Didn't

My daughter Mollie and I are hooked on a show on the WB called Vampire Diaries.



It's a teen show about a bunch of high schoolers and there's vampires, witches, werewolves and now ghosts. It's drama out the wazoo and although I'm not a drama kind of girl, I LOVELOVELOVE this show.

So one part of the show is that there's a lot of sex. Everyone is falling in love and hooking up. The main couple, Elena and Stephen, are doing sleep overs. Elena's BFF Caroline started with vampire Damon, then good guy Matt and now is with vamp/wolf hybrid Tyler.

I never thought twice about all the sex until last night when they were staring their last year of high school. WTF!!

Now the actors are all in their 20s and look it. So I probably never thought twice about the sex because they all look old enough to be hooking up (some look old enough to be parents). But on the show they were juniors in high school and sleeping around. All of them.

I was so upset. Upset with myself for not recognizing the age of the characters. Upset that there are programmers out there who think it's appropriate to have a show with high school juniors (and sophomores) sleeping around and spending the night at their lover's homes. Upset that there are parents and guardians on the show who are concerned that their kids are paranormal but don't give a damn that they're sluts.

I think we're done watching. I'm so disappointed with the show for not being clear of the character's ages. And the morals being so down the toilet. This is not what I want my daughter thinking high school is.

Ecstacy by Bella Andre Wasn't Ecstatic

I don't know much about Ms. Andre but she was one of those self-pubbed authors who lit the Amazon world on fire. Ecstacy was one of the titles, I guess, that put her over the top.

Now I'll admit that I got it awhile ago as a free read and I wasn't too interested. But a few weeks ago I read one of my Kindle free reads (by Jil Myles.. a Surviver take-off whose title has currently escaped me) and I loved it so I thought good free read luck was smiling down on me.

Instead I got a badly written porn book about two porn writers who write badly written porn. I'm sure there are people who'd love this book but gads, why?

The H/h both write erotica. The hero is a successful erotic writer who's apparently good looking, rich and can't get a date. The heroine is a writer who has decided to try erotica and she's never had a man bring her pleasure.

Oh yeah, a woman who finds sex disappointing wants to write about it. Go figure.

Anyway, the hero mentors the heroine which includes giving her multiple orgasms during their first mentoring session. And then she writes about it. And everytime they get together they have sloppy sex and then she goes home and writes about it. Badly.

Don't read this book. Seriously. Badly written, lousy sex and not even decent enough to be tongue in cheek.

I give it three Mr. Yuks.

'Tis the Season

Yesterday, my husband made his traditional trip to Walmart. Don't get me wrong, he goes to Walmart lots of times during the year and for a variety of reasons. But October is special. October is candy shopping month.

It's become a tradition at our house. John always buys the Hallowe'en candy. Lots and lots of Hallowe'en candy.

I have my suspicions. Yes indeed, I've had them for years. I think John is using Hallowe'en to satisify his secret, hidden love for chocolate.

It sounds so metrosexual, to love chocolate, and my John is at the opposite end of metrosexual. He's nothing if not macho. He comes complete with hunting rifles and fishing lures, even if it's been awhile since he's used them.

He buys enough chocolate to sink the Lusitania. It supplies him with chocolate bliss for months after Hallowe'en. He keeps one bag of goodies by his chair and treats his candy like medicine sometimes. Take the heart pill. Follow with a piece of candy. It can last him for months!

The strange thing is, when his Hallowe'en candy is gone, then that's it for the rest of the year. He goes cold turkey until next Hallowe'en.

The trick or treaters? Screw them! Not really, they get their treats. There's plenty. Plenty, plenty, plenty! And John loves the little kids that come calling, has conversations with them and their parents, tries to guess who's behind the mask, compliments them on their costumes. John loves Hallowe'en, because he gets to play like a kid and he also gets lots and lots of chocolate.

You've heard of southern eccentrics? You've just had a peek into the life of one of them.