65 Years Old and Done

 It's strange to say (and strange to accept) but I'm looking for a new job. I'm done with working in toxic environments, I'm tired of working for toxic people and I'm tired of being tired. 

I'm not financially stable enough to retire completely but I am financially stable enough to work part time and just supplement my social security. But since this will be the last job of my life: it needs to be a safe environment, a friendly environment and it must be drama free. 

I'm not expecting to find something easily or quickly but that's okay. I do believe that I will find something. 

I have tickets purchased for my big trip in December. Believe it or not: Mollie and I are going to Asheville, North Carolina to see my father (let's not even try to explain, it's complicated). We arrive on the 14th, stay in a hotel, and leave at like 5am on the 18th and together fly to Japan. I'll stay with her to January 3 and then come home. 

I dream of ramen.

So anyway, today was nothing but ticket purchasing for the Japan part of the trip, dealing with work trauma and drama and cuddling cats because my cats are getting cuddlier as time goes by.

Remember: the country is falling to pieces around us. Hating women is a sport. Stay safe out there. 

Just saying

 Trump on Abortion

My brother believes it. I'm not joking, my brother believes that doctors are murdering babies post delivery and calling it abortion.

There are no humans more gullible that MAGAs. Or as venal. 

Monday Monday

 

The first time I saw this I was agog. I felt like so much of my life was explained right there. Functional freeze. How much time have I spent sitting on my couch or bed, in emotional freeze. Hours can go by and I'm stuck. 

I've experienced a lot of that recently also. Boxes surrounding me, a dirty apartment and my brain stuck in a loop of wanting to do something and unable to move.

This weekend I busted through it. Saturday morning I set a goal to just get garbage out and go to the dump. I had so many boxes, a destroyed cat tree; I needed too get it gone. Sometimes one of the hesitations is knowing that my body is going to hurt from doing certain things. Huge pieces of garbage dragged around was going to cause some pain. 

But I got my car packed. I headed for the dump. And I ran into the annual Merrie Monarch parade which closed off all the major streets and left me turned around and befuddled. I ended up getting back home and tossing the smelly garbage away and leaving the non-smelly stuff for later this week for the dump.

Then yesterday my energy was high and I started moving furniture. I'm redoing the entire apartment. It wasn't my intent to change everything but once I started I couldn't stop. 

Today I've been doing some stuff also. I seem to have found some of that energy I lost. My brain is sparking. I want to get things done. So off I go.

The thing is: it's all temporary. The brain is a funny thing and it's going to say no at some point and that will be the end of it. The energy will wane. I'll sit on my couch locked into a state of functional freeze because that's what I do. But now I know what it is. And I know it's temporary. 

Anyway, I'm going to move a chair. And then send a fax. We keep going because there are no other viable options. 

I just love understanding what's happening. It doesn't mean it ends but it does make it easier when it happens to know why.

The Sexy Millionaire's Secret Republican Endorsement

 So Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson appeared on Fox News and said he wasn't endorsing Joe Biden again for 2024. He said he's keeping his politics 'private'. He said that on Fox News. That uh, well, it kinda smells of something interesting Mr. Rock. It smells of  cheap cologne, fake tan and dirty diapers.

There's some interesting stuff happening lately. Not so much with politics (which is always interesting stuff but also exhausting, frustrating and horrific stuff) but with celebrity culture. There's some backlash coming and it's really interesting.

When the billionaires imploded in the tuna can going down to see The Titanic, there was no sorrow online. The absolute disdain of people towards millionaires was almost joyful. And have you seen the vitriol aimed at J-Lo recently? Her little vanity project This Is Me... Now is not just a $20 million dollar self-funded flop but the internet's hate of Jenny from the Block (in Bel-Air) is epic. Nobody likes Jennifer Lopez and for great, good reason.

When I read that Jeff Bezos could solve world hunger and it would cost him nothing:

According to UN officials, "$30 billion per year is needed to end world hunger". There are 795 million undernourished people in the world today. That means one in nine people do not get enough food to lead an active and healthy life. Jeff Bezos could even end world hunger twice a year.

 It wouldn't affect him at all. At all.

His ex-wife, on the other hand:

Scott has given away $16.5 billion from the fortune she came into after divorcing Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. Initially, she publicized the gifts in online blog posts, sometimes naming the organizations and sometimes not. She launched a database of her giving in December 2022, under the name Yield Giving.

By the way, McKenzie Scott still has billions. Because when you have billions of dollars (in real money, not Trump Bucks) you are never going to be poor. Your money makes money which makes money which doesn't stop making money.

Anyway, this post is going all over the place. But ... we've been taught that billionaires and celebrities and other entitled people have earned their entitlement. And in the past we treated them as though that was true. But not anymore. When the greatest acts of charity are performed so often by those who are humble, it makes the Rocks and J-Lo's look like the big entitled babies they are. 

The Rock might be fine or he might discover that women don't feel kindly about a man who has announced he'll vote to strip their rights away. Jeff Bezos can continue his Lex Luthor cosplay but people are going to cheer at his death. 

We often look at the changes around us and feel sad about the evolution (and de-evolution) of society. The change in tenor towards entitlement makes me feel enthusiastic. And it makes me feel like I want to start being more of the change in this world. Maybe the Rock will inspire more of us to get involved. Maybe the billionaires will be a catalyst for change because of how we're seeing them for what they really are.

 

The All New, Totally Valid, No It's Not Internet It's the 4G Movement

 Is there anything better than men centering themselves in everything? Yeah... so now a group of stable geniuses on the internet have started the 4G movement to counteract or counter balance the 4B movement.

The 4B movement, which started in South Korea which had/has alarming numbers of femicide and SA against women, a movement started because the patriarchy there makes ours look like child's play: the movement created because women didn't want to die at the hands of men, is now a guy thing.

And what is the 4G plan? No sex with women. No sperm given to women. No providing for women. No dating women.

And I am here for it. I want to cheer my brothers from the sidelines. KEEP THOSE ZIPPERS ZIPPED, BOYS! Make women suffer. Stop engaging with women on the streets and in elevators or on public transport. Show women you don't care by not trying to shoot your shot since they don't deserve you anyway. No woman deserves a man as fine as you.

Make the women beg for you first. If she isn't on her knees pleading then she's part of the 4B movement most likely and we know those women are just not to be trusted. TRUST NO WOMAN! Zippers always in the upright position. You got this, guys.

The women in South Korea have dropped the birthrate in their country to the lowest (I think) in the world. More people die than are born. Which strikes me as a really green, environment friendly thing to do.

Can Western Women do the same? I doubt it. White women dislike being inconvenienced and I don't believe they'll touch the same impact that the Korean women have. I do think some women will embrace it. But more for Western women, it's about shaking up the status quo of marriage or partnerships. As long as it benefits white women, they're right there. When it gets hard, they're uh ... not there any more.

And this is me speaking as a white woman. I want the patriarchy destroyed as much as the next woman. But ... we are not often very good allies. 

Anyways... I'm rambling. I embrace 4B and 4G. This benefits everyone. Even though 4G is stupid as shit, I hope men embrace it. More men learning to leave women alone can only be a good thing.

Mahalo Means Thank You

 Mahalo ladies for being there. 

Yesterday was a hard day. My boss started off first thing in the morning by slamming me in various emails (the new RN quit after 2 weeks and I'm his usual target in those situations). Then right after that I saw the apartment I was not moving into and then a neighbor asked me for a ride and she ran over an hour late and I had laundry to do and my knees hurt...

Yesterday sucked in all sorts of small ways.

Today is starting to look a little better. I'm trying to see the opportunity in this as a chance to keep doing what I was doing and continue to clean everything out and rearrange the entire apartment. Plus there are things about this apartment I hate to give up: 2 excellent views (one of the ocean) as well as a delightful cross breeze. And my amazing neighbors. 

Anyway, there's always something positive to find and even though I want to crawl into bed and sob awhile, I think this is okay.

Changes

So guess who isn't moving? 

I finally saw the apartment and it's so much smaller than mine. The kitchen is literally half the size and it's awful. I canceled the move and I'm shook. My apartment is in boxes and my excitement is gone. On the other hand, Carolyn told me to think of this as spring cleaning and she's right so I'm going to keep going and pretend I'm moving and clean everything out.

But this is... a lot.