So today I had an appointment with the Bariatric team psychologist and it was a new psychologist (new to me). Also named Lori. And um... wow. You know when you meet the right person at the right time? Well today I met the right person at the right time.
We were talking about dieting and my history with weight loss and weight gain and she said something... I can't even pinpoint what exactly it was and it made me cry. We both were surprised. And then truth started to happen. Stuff I wasn't acknowledging about the surgery and there it all was.
I'm not ready. I haven't been alone in 30 years and suddenly I'm alone and starting to take care of myself, real care of myself, and I'm not ready for surgery. There's so much about it that makes my teeth clench. And as much as I want to get surgery so I can lose enough weight to get my knees fixed, I need to work on other things first. My relationship with food, with my family, with myself, with Lea...
So, as if that wasn't enough work imploded a bit today and I've been super vulnerable so it was a real teeter-totter of emotions. But we're coming out on the other side. Days like today certainly make me feel confident in keeping my job because I survived the wackiest of wack-a-doodle days.
Anyway, I'm feeling very emotional but certain I'm on the right path. Wish me luck.
I think you made the right decision. Sending you many hugs. Oh hell, even a kiss- purely platonic, of course! 😘
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like an important ephiphany! -- Willa
ReplyDeleteOh man, I've *finally* figured out how to reply on your blog!
DeleteNice to see you and hey Willa!
DeleteAll the besterest (it is a word bro, it is a word *from an ad lol) of luck to you Ms Lori. How awesome that you met the other Lori just when you needed. We will all be here for you, in some capacity so whatever you need.
ReplyDeleteAnd cheers to surviving a wack-a-doodle day. Onwards and upwards ♥♥♥♥