Saturday, July 14, 2012

Outing My Amazon Bully

I've had plenty of time to think about it and I've decided that the truth must come out. I've been bulied on Amazon. And Goodreads. And well, everywhere. And I'm here to out the bitch that's done it.

Her name is Carolyn. Also known as C.L. McCullough. Or in the Green household, we just call her that red-headed bitch.

My story begins simply enough when I had my first book come out. It was an exciting time and the moment it was for sale, my dear friend Carolyn immediately went everywhere and posted 5 star reviews, as well she should.

But then she got her own book published. She became one of the special snowflakes. You know the ones. Suddenly full of herself. Bragging about her $15.00 royalty statements and her two reviews.

She turned on me as only a vicious bully could.

To talk about it causes me so much pain. But she must be outed. Her nefarious deeds have gone on too long.

She started leaving me 4 star reviews.

*sob*

Oh she had her handy excuses. She told me she thought I was a 5 star writer but she didn't want to be accused of sock-puppeting her best friend. She wanted to look fair,.

How fair was it that my best friend didn't post 5 star reviews everywhere, I ask you? How could she?!?!

I swore one day I would seek my revenge and so I shall.

Her real name is Carolina Moonshina McCullough
She lives in Shady Oaks Trailer Park, Space C.
She can usually be found at Wal Mart in the lotion section and every Thursday she goes to Bob's Big Boy and has a triple decker bacon cheeseburger with pork rinds on top.

(image removed)
That's her, right there.

If you see her, feel free to pinch her really hard on the arm or steal her tupperware. She deserves it. The big bully.

4 comments:

  1. Way to stand up to these bullies! She'll rue the day she tried to be fair and impartial!

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  2. You didn't get my best side.

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  3. Damn, I came to Farts to post something and now I can't remember what it was - something special that would have knocked your socks off, I'm sure, but it's shocked right out of my system.

    Stabbed in the back by my ex-BFF, oh the horror of it all!!!!

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  4. This is pure awesomeness. Let's go beat up on your bully!!

    ReplyDelete