In Praise of Quiet Men

Carolyn:


As I've aged, I've come to appreciate the beta males, both in fiction and in real life.

I think what it boils down to, is that the young are rather selfish. Many relationships at that age are more about 'what can you do for me?' Thus the histrionics over forgotten anniversaries (how could you forget our 3 month anniversary!!), that he has other interests besides you, and that flowers and gifts are NOT what are always on a man's mind. We all know what is. *grin*

A muscle bound significant other would only make me shy about my own imperfect body. A guy trained to kill with toothpicks would have me sincerely hoping he never had a bad dream whilst I was lying beside him! Oh, he'd be pretty to show off. But what's on the inside?

I think I put this in another post somewhere. As I age, looks and masculine superiority become less and less important, at least in my RL.

I want a partner; someone who knows me and allows me to know him. Someone who lives his life without drama, but can step up when necessary and won't allow others to run over him. Someone you can exchange back rubs with, lol.

These men aren't flaming comets rushing across our skies. They are the moon, always there, and while perhaps predicable, they are constant.

An example of a good beta is Sir Gerald Singleton in Mary Balogh's "A Precious Jewel". Another is Charlie in Jennifer Crusie's "Charlie All Night".

Don't get me wrong - I love alphas or I wouldn't be reading Ilona Andrews, lol. But in fiction only, I think. For RL, I'll take a beta every time.



Lori:


All excellent points.

In real life the man who is able to make you comfortable in your skin and your life is a treasure. ruthfully, after a few years hairlines recede while stomachs impede. Pretty men are on television but the good men are the ones droning through their jobs and responsibilities and making people comfortable.

I laugh at the descriptions of some of these alpha males; almost seven feet tall but trim and muscle-bound and their thick hair is pulled back in to pony tail...

Bet none of them would take out the garbage or rub your feet after a long day.

I like Alpha males in my imagination. I like to imagine a well oiled Dwayne Johnson at my beck and call. But even in my fantasies he washes out his coffee cup and puts the seat down.