Reality Sucks, Unless It's Filmed

So I wasn't going to watch The Bachelorette this season because Emily's voice akes me want to strangle puppies and I have a low tolerance for that much sweetness. But I wanted to see the bachelors so I watched the first show and realized that Emily has something none of the other women have ever had: big balls.

Oh she's a wonder. She's Southern to a T, a real bless your heart kind of gal. But someone says the wrong thing and she's completely taking names and kicking 'em to the curb.

I lurve this woman.

And on HGTV's Next Design Star it's down to the final four and may I say yippee because 3 out of 4 of the finalists are black. And I'm hoping Hilari kicks it into high gear cause she's sweet and adorable and I'd watch a show she does. (But I think Danielle might win and that would make me happy also.)

My daughter has started to cook. So far it's been amazing and delicious. She made grilled cheese sandwiches, mashed potatoes and baked eggs (not as one meal.... these were different meals and different times). She wants to make fried chicken and I'm all for it. Yay and yum.

And on WWE recently it's been a real pain in the arse watching the emotional teenage angst of AJ. The writer's should be ashamed of themselves. Why they have these amazing athletic women and relegate them to nothing but an occasional conquest or bitch (as was the case with Eve) or teenager (please AJ, kick D-Bry in his pair and move the fuck along).

I truly would stop watching except once you've seen some of those bodies with the muscles glistening and the lumps of delight threatening to say hey, well, it's hard to turn away. I just want to know why Alberto Del Rio is the only wrestler with a package?

Official Release: Letters from Greece

5 Star Review

Today is the official release day for Letters From Greece.

It was exciting to see it on the front page of All Romance (yay). However, because there's always something.... the publisher sent the announcement of the book release and although all the promo wordage was for Greece, they put

as the picture.

And we're excited because the paperback is selling too. (Not a lot, but still, exciting!!!)

Ranty McRant Rant

So I saw this wonderful pic on FB this morning and it made me smile. But then I saw someone comment, saying "Exactly! They're both sales." and I bled inside.

Books aren't about sales. It's about telling a story and engaging a reader's mind. It's about disappearing from your life and into the world the author created.

Books are about bliss. Not about bucks.

So speaking of this, I just finished Scandal Wears Satin by Loretta Chase. There might have been some not quite stellar reviews of it. Might I suggest one reads the book and not the reviews.

Oh I loved it. I adored the hero, Harry and want one of my own. He was delightful. De-fucking-lightful. Oh my lord, I must must must squee.

Dear Loretta Chase,

I might not be your biggest fan despite my waist size but I want to have your love child, take out your garbage and marry most of your heroes. I want to be your best friend, your barista or bake you cookies.

I love you more than I love chocolate and that's a scary amount. I adored Sophy and her amazing scams, I loved Harry and his not-so-dim but not-very-smart self. I want a man to love me the way Harry loved Sophy and I want a declaration of love in such a wonderful way.

I want Clara's story more than I want to see George Clooney naked.

If you like, I will practice with a rapier until I can cut the heart out of a marauding turkey and then I shall cut the barely beating hearts of your detractors from their wizened chests.

Yours forever,

Lori the Lunatic

Hmm. Hope that didn't sound too fan girlish.

Personal note: I'm working on Book 2 of my Hollywood Heroes series and I realized that I didn't like my heroine. If I don't like her then the reader would hate her.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Starting over. Gave her a dog too. Heh. Who said truth isn't fiction? Or vice versa?

Letters From Greece

They're on the run… To new lives and loves in Greece. Best friends Kate and Min are on the run to find a new life. Greece offers Min an escape from her abusive husband. Once there, they find a crumbling home, a run-down tavern and a Greek tycoon who has a soft spot for a faded Southern belle. A younger man catches Kate's fancy and, if they can survive an-almost ex who wants his wife back, they might keep their new lives and loves in this new country.

AMAZON

B&N

KOBO BOOKS

Available in ebook and paperback.



The Genesis of a Book

Lookie, lookie, lookie.

Lea goes through a lot of covers before the perfect one is found. This book is sort of a cosy mystery (very light on the mystery) that takes place in the 1920s. It's also a love story between a married couple.

Lea sent this first:

I decided I liked the first one with a smaller crown. So, then she decided to add some color and try out some different lighting - did I mention this takes place in Old Hollywood?

I really like the red but I don't like the lights.

I like the lights but the blue's a little dark- the gentleman's hat brim is invisible. There's still work to do on this cover, but I think it's shaping up well. I'm so proud of Lea.

I've heard, though, that 'cartoon' characters are no longer 'in'.  They do sort of make me think of chic lit, which this isn't, btw. It's a light hearted murder mystery, fluffy even, but with some dark moments and some dark depths to the characters. Everyone has coping mechanisms and Vivi and Carlos have found theirs.

So. Do these figures work for you? I can't find a male image I like; there's very few at all in this time period and no women that I think would represent Vivi well. This cartoon figure does. Frivolous on the outside, solid as a rock on the inside.

What do you think of when you look at this cover? Would you give the book a chance?

Dear Authors....

those of whom I friend on Facebook, follow on Twitter (okay, not that so much since Twitter is like meh to me), and those I see on Pinterest.....

cut it out!!

Oh my Gawd, you guys are annoying the shit out of me. You and your books and self-important twaddle. You know who you are. And you might not know that you're annoying the hell out of me but I'm here to tell you that you are. And I want it to stop.

Look, we're all in the same boat. We all got a book or books out and we're excited. We're authors. We're published. It means something to us and we want to put it out there. Yay us. Go team. Hip hip and a hoodle-doodle. Life is good.

So we promote. Some of us promote a little too much. I mean, yay you for having a new release and/or a backlist and I'm delighted for you, I am. But I'm not sure you understand that you're not Loretta Chase or La Nora or even vaguely interesting so re-announcing your release news every few hours with pics and sign up for your newsletter and all that is more than a little too much.

Oh yeah, and the picture thing. It's on Facebook and on Pinterest. It's those of you who find pictures of hawt men and post them and say "hmmm, think this coud be Joe in my book Nobody Gives a Damn?"

Well no, that's George Clooney, you ego-laden twit and he's not Joe except in your demented mind. And when you put pics of Clooney, Matt Damon, Channing Tatum or Tatum Channing (I don't know his name, I only know he's a pleasure to look at) and suggest they could all be Joe, well I want to suggest medication for your condition.

Having a book published is a great thing. Being proud is natural. But keep it in perspective. And in case you've lost perspective I'm going to give you some. Pay attention. There's a test later.

You got a contract for a book!! Yay. Celebrate. Call your best friend, your family, your dog walker, announce it on Facebook, Twitter and all social media. Then shut up. You get one announcement and that's all.

Edits are fun!  They sure are. Like some people get off on root canals and others like picking up dog poo. So go ahead and post a status. Doing edits on my Epic Vampire Magic Realism Romance. #editsarefun.  No more. One time only.

I'm a writer so I must write!  Okay, this one is a little more sticky. Because writing should be fun. And social media is about sharing the cool and fun stuff in your life. So your brilliant idea to do a story about three wedding planning sisters who fall in love with a vampire, a ghost and shape shifting naked mole rat should be okay to mention.

But see, there's got to be a little sense involved. The FB status I read this morning: doing edits on my werewolf and I have to write the blurb for Joseph and his amazing technicolor yawn before I finish my rough draft on Some Like It Not-So-Hot before I do book #17 of my incredible shrinking violets series. I thought she was a little full of shit.

On the other hand, I also read another writer mention another contract and that she has two signings set up and she was excited and I was excited for her. What was the difference? She was excited and sharing, not showing off how busy she is.

Remember: we really don't care. And if you're like me and have 300 - 3000 friends who you never met then maybe you don't want to appear boring. Or full of yourself.

Am I guilty of being a self-aggrandizing twit?  On occasion. I like to talk about how much I enjoy writing when I enjoy it and sometimes I mention that I should be writing but I'm not and I once mentioned my book idea about two BFF bloggers who spend their lives having hot, sweaty sex with gorgeous muscle bound men who are all cordon-bleu chefs who believe that foot massages are foreplay...

God, I just got myself turned on. Big time.

Look writers, here's the deal. Stop boring me. Stop making me want to hit you with a golf club. Be sensible. And never ever again post a picture anywhere that suggests a famous man might be a character in your book. Never. That's between you and your friends and I mean the ones you know. Otherwise the rest of us shall mock you.

Or put it on your blog. That's what we do.

You're warned.

My Pinterest Salad

This has nothing to do with anything but I wanted to show Carolyn so...

I saw this on Pinterest and looked wonderful. Mason Jar Salads. I didn't have mason jars but I had a spaghetti sauce jar so that worked.

Shredded lettuce, chopped a cuke, cried over an onion, grated cheese and carrots and made spicy ranch dressing (just ranch dressing mixed with bbq sauce).

The dressing goes on the bottom. Over that is onions, cukes and carrots. Cheese. Added black beans and corn. And then shredded lettuce on the top, away from the dressing so it will remain fresh and crisp.

In the fridge for tomorrow's lunch.