Smart Bitches put up a post of links and there was a link to a writer talking about the difference in how he's treated in the world and how his sister is. The differences in being allowed, as a man, to be overweight, to be a parent however he chooses, to be himself. And how everything his sister says or does is ridiculed, criticized and mocked.
Then I read other links leading to the above. This woman is a food blogger and story teller and from the sounds of it, she's just a lovely human being. Her post makes me so sad because no matter how much society changes, there will always be someone hating women because they're women.
And yes, oftentimes it's other women too.There's a belief that happy women must be torn down. Women who don't need to be accepted by others because they accept themselves are dangerous women.
I've lived most of my life being ashamed of myself for being fat, ashamed for not being pretty. I hated being who I was because I didn't think I was good enough.
And then I was.
I was and I am good enough. I'm still fat and I'm not pretty. I'm not brilliant and I might not be good at math and .... I like who I am. I know my faults and I'm okay with having them. And I've discovered that the more comfortable I am being me, the less some people liked me.
When I stopped apologizing and crying and hiding myself, some people got pretty pissed. I don't care. I'm still happy with my life.
Online I exist mostly in a female environment. The idea that there are others out there using internet anonymity to tear down strangers and do their online venom spewing, saddens me. However, remaining aware and being vocal about our experiences are the first line in changing those experiences.
This is a conversation that we women need to have. And keep having. We need to let people know when it happens and we have to work together to silence the asshats who would try to silence us. Those who believe its okay to attack women for the sake of attacking women need to be the ones silenced.
This is one old fart who believes in being loud. And proud. And working with other women to keep all areas of our lives free of all violence.
(I hope this rant makes sense since it was a rush of typing fingers. I just got so pissed off reading the above. And I completely believe that if we work together in outing these men and their behavior, we will make a difference.)