Monday, March 21, 2011

Dear Carolyn,

I'm gonna say it again: I'm tired of sex!

I'm reading The Wallflower series by Lisa Kleypas and enjoying it greatly. She's a good writer and I must admit that she has me laughing out loud many times. I love when an author makes me laugh out loud.

But... (and this but is almost as big as my butt), I don't read about a fourth of the book. Because you see the H/h have their romance and their sparring and it's good stuff. Oh my, it's really good stuff. But then they fuck. Or they make the beast with the two backs. Make sweet love till the morning comes. They do it. The train goes through the tunnel. They do the dirty. Ride the hump train. Get sweaty. Boogie till dawn. Get down. Bump uglies. Rut like animals. Bump like bunnies. Hump like hippos.

You know. They have the dreaded sex.

Oh Miss Kleypas, I love you. I adore you. I implore you to please please please stop writing so damned much sex.

Once they do it they have to do it again and again. You know, like we did in our thirties when we hit our sexual prime and became those women our mother's warned us about and our father's suggested our brother's find. We was dirty. We was hot. We was all about the sex.

Unfortunately that's where Miss Kleypas' books go also.

So there I am reading this amazing book, laughing out loud in McDonald's while the kids played and I stole their french fries and read on my Kindle and life was amazing and then the characters had sex. And they had sex again. They had sex over and over and over again and each time was described and well frankly, I got bored.

It's especially tiring when reading a series in order, as I'm doing with the Wallflower books. Four books and in each one at some point I start skimming through multiple sex scenes to get to the good stuff. (The good stuff = story.)

I figure by the time I'm done with Book 4, I'll have read the equivalent of three books and skimmed one entire book worth of writing as I avoid all the sex.

I love you, Lisa Kleypas. But can't you keep your character's pants on?



  1. I hear ya girl - yeah!

    These days I prefer the emotions and feelings rather than the A&P approach. Maybe that's why I'm drifting to UF and some paranormals now. It took four books for Kate and Curran to get it on and the sexual tension was almost unbearable. I don't need a whole chapter for the act either, it flat wears me out.

    I feel I should confess though, that I didn't hit my sexual prime until my forties - late developer, you know. ;-)

  2. I'm with you there ladies. Another author who seems to like her characters having sex for the sake of it it is Stephanie Laurens. I haven't read too many of her books for that reason. I gather her first books weren quite tame. By that I mean the sex had something to do with the plot.

    But I read a novella of hers a while back (it was in an anthology including Mary Balogh, which was the only reason I bought it) and a good third of Ms Laurens' book was spent describing a ... frankly gratuitous sex scene behind a curtain.
    Frankly I was bored after the first few pages rather than titivated - and I was left thinking 'What the hell was all thast about?'

    Right now I'm reading Joanna Bourne's The Spymaster's Lady after reading some excellent reviews of it. So far I'm loving it too. Have either of you read it?

  3. I've read Spymaster's Lady, Cheryl. And I an arc of The Forbidden Rose, the third book in the series, William Doyle's story. Second book is My Lord and Spymaster, but somehow I haven't acquired that one, lol.

    She's a damn good writer. You might remember everyone commenting on how well she did the dialogue for someone whose first language wasn't English. Hoping to pick up some tips for Spanglish. ;-)