And the Siren Goes Waaaaaaa

 Woke up the other day in the worst pain ever. My leg was screaming. I chewed down pain pills and they did nothing. The pain didn't abate. I called Carolyn crying. "What do I do?" My daughter called me and I was still crying. I called work, crying.

Then I called the ambulance.

Pain doesn't make me cry almost ever. I'm used to pain. If I'm crying, if I'm crying openly in front of others: it's bad for me. 

I went to the ER where they had me wait. Then they x-rayed my leg and then they had me wait and then they told me I was fine and sent me home. They didn't address the pain except to say nothing was broken. They offered nothing, they said ice and elevate and then left the room.

I was obviously mobility challenged and they didn't put the safety rails up on the bed. When I was discharged they left me alone to get out of the bed and out of the hospital by myself. I sat outside the hospital and cried.

If it wasn't for my neighbors and my apartment manager I wouldn't have been able to ... survive really. 

Anyway, today is less pain (although my ankle is suddenly throwing a hissy fit). (Ouch.) I'm trying to stay on a pain pill schedule (taking so many more than I should but my pain doctor refused me an emergency appointment). I'm icing, elevating, sleeping.

All isn't miserable though. I found these really good chicken sandwiches at Walmart and Max has Wonka movie with Timothee Chalamet which looks awful but fun. I was able to get all my dirty and wet clothes picked up so I feel a tiny bit better.

That's the other thing: my apartment needs to be cleaned and I can't be mobile enough to do much. So the floors need vacuuming and mopping. The litter is strewn about. There are dishes in the sink and multiple small bags of garbage. I need someone to come and help me out and nobody here is close friends like that enough to ask (Carolyn, want to catch a flight? Or better yet, send your sister.)

My emotional strength comes a lot from the home I created and my pride and pleasure in it. With it being dirty and chaotic then I feel weak and unprepared. I'm vulnerable as hell.

However, I know this will get better. There aren't any options. And it is helpful to know there are no breaks. 

And one of my neighbors came by and offered to buy my pain pills from me (she heard about my ambulance ride).

I'm ready to be bored now...