Sunday, January 22, 2012

Cease and Desist ... Says Carolyn??

Dear Lori:

It has come to my attention that we are operating illegally. Please refer to your post below, titled In Defense of Writers, which touches on the point I'm about to make.

We are writers. We are published writers. And here we are operating a blog more or less as readers. We talk about books we like and even worse, we give opinions!

Heavens, I feel faint.

I mean, I just realized I'm in conflict with myself. According to some, I have to be either one or the other: author or reader. I can't be both.

I suppose the problem is I feel more like a reader than an author. I'm easy to hide, despite my size, because very few people know my name or my books. But I am published, as are you, so I can see only one solution ...

We'll have to shut down.




My darling Carolyn,

I assume you were in your kitchen and got high from the oven fumes. Mold will do that when burned.

I'm terribly confused. Are you saying that by virtue of selling four books every month to whatever relatives we can drag out of our old Christmas Card lists (hey! Aunt Helga hasn't yet heard about my new novel!) we've lost the right to read or write?

Wait. That made no sense.

So are you suggesting that I can buy books and read them but not have opinions?

Or are you speaking specifically of this blog? So our writing about age spots and wet spots and which we prefer is no longer allowed?

I think I have to lay down. Or lie down? Now I'm even more confused.



My darlin', darlin' Lori:

You know I'm speaking specifically of this blog.

Here's a 'what if':

What if we become famous, like the 'authors behaving badly'?

See, when you're famous authors, even if it's just in a limited circle, you aren't allowed to do certain stuff, like dislike a Julia Quinn book, because what if you need her to blurb you one day?

Anyway, I gather from your rather pointed reply you don't want to close the blog. Therefore I suggest you share your mother's recipe for turkey casserole and leave all the writing stuff to competent reviewers, except for your own stuff, of course, which you are expected to promote.

And despite your remarks about my oven, I remain

Yours sincerely



Carolyn, my poppet,

Courtney Milan has opinions. I don't know if she has opinions about other writer's books but she has bunches of opinions and she shares them all over the damned place!

If Courtney can opine, I want to opine too.

And I take pointed offence at your suggestion that my book reviews are less than professional. They are amazingly professional. They have the book title, the author's name and my feelings about the book.

Do you mean to tell me there's more? Like do I have to have a degree in reviewing?

And that casserole recipe was not my mother's. My mother was the one who suggested that kitchens were a wonderful place to keep the menus for the take out places.

Anyway, I refuse to shut down the blog, shut my mouth or be ashamed of my reading. Goodness, I'm starting to feel like I'm on a playground and being told I can't use the slide.

I like to slide dammit!!

Your BFF,



Listen Lori -

I'm just trying to save you from 'the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune', because you know what'll happen if some of these blogs get ahold of you, where everyone on the internet has an opinion and isn't afraid to post them. Why should they be afraid? No one knows who the hell they are, and half of them still post as 'Anonymous' or variations thereof anyway.

Well, I've always supported you in everything you've done (except that time you wanted to kidnap Carlos and keep him in my attic - although it was tempting) so I guess that means we'll continue on as usual.

I really expected a more ... um ... logical response from you, because I've seen you thank people for reviewing one of your books, which, you know, really eats into that therom that authors should be completely hands off after publication.

You rebel, you!!

Damn, I've talked myself into not being mad at you anymore.




Carolyn my bestie,

You and I make it a practice to do everything wrong so why change now? After all, we started off in fan fic and not even the right kind of fan fic. I mean, did we know there were right and wrong fan fics?

Then we went and chose to write non fan fic and we found someone who wanted to publish us. And still does! Despite our four copies a month.

And then what do we do? We start a blog together and we have no idea what we're doing. But we do it anyway. We give our opinions, we review the books we read and we plot Carlos domination.

You know what I think? I think we do it all wrong and I don't give a shit. Call me soft hearted but as long as we still enjoy it, I think we're doing it right.

Lubs ya muchly.



Dear Lori:

When you're right, you're right. We've always marched to a different drummer. Why change now?

We can reassess when we're rich and famous. *snort*




  1. There had not better be any more talk about closing the blog!!! I have your backs and Brown has your fronts.... wait...... is that a secret? Anyway... carry on!!!! MJ

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  3. Lori said:

    "And I take pointed offence at your suggestion that my book reviews are less than professional. They are amazingly professional. They have the book title, the author's name and my feelings about the book."

    I can't believe I let this pass, but darlin' Lori you did forget the name of a book and never realized it until Kristy J called you on it. LMAO!

    It was back in March 2010 and the book was Slow Heat by Jill Shalvis. Only you called it The Hot Spot. What's worse, it was a double review, and I didn't catch it either, lol.

    You see the lengths I'll go to? I vaguely remembered this and looked it up in the archives. The downside of blogs, they always have a history. ;-)

  4. Are you sure I read it? Sometimes I just make the shit up.