3 Cats, One Kid, A Whole Lotta Stress

 I dreamt my mother was trying to kidnap my daughter. We were trying to get away from her but she was following us and constantly trying to enlist other people to help her steal my kid. Mollie and I were dodging through crowds, busting onto crowded flights, trying to hide.

Mom's been dead for 19 years. In fact, this month makes it 19 years.

The dream was just a bunch of stress saying "look at me". Stress dreams are common and have similar themes: all involving keeping Mollie safe. 

An interesting tidbit is that Mollie is providing stress for me right now. I'm trying to navigate our relationship which for Mollie, is unchanged. But the constant Mom duty and devotion is getting harder to do. She lives on a different continent, a different time zone, a different language. She just got a new job which is paying her more than my current paycheck. Being the same Mom to an adult of 23 years as I was when she was 15, is not cutting it. 

And the job is nothing but stress. I gave notice but I need to do some training before I leave. I was asked to come to Maui for a week which I declined. I'll go for 2 different overnights and will be available for further as needs dictate. But after the second training, my equipment will be turned in and I will be off staff.

I'm not worried about retiring. I'm just so fucking tired I want it to start yesterday.

My brother and I were texting and I told him it's a go, I am retiring. He's older than me and looking for a new job. Why not retire?, I asked. He said he's started really thinking about it lately. He asked me what I'm going to do to keep myself from vegetating. I said nothing. I look forward to some vegetating. Just as I look forward to getting projects done and spending more time scrapbooking and learning witchcraft. 

We all need a fuck ton less stress.

And let me tell you about the cats. OMG. The kitten is a delight. I've decided that whether it's a girl or boy doesn't matter and I naturally call cats she so she it is. Kitara is her name. She's in love with Wednesday and they play and have started cuddling. She lets me pet her when I give her food but she's still shy around me. It doesn't matter. She's so perfect as a housecat. She has no desire to be outside. She has food, friendship and fun right here and she's loving it. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll be napping a lot. And later making bacon popcorn. And I'm slowly replacing all the kitchen cabinet knobs so maybe I'll be able to finish that today. Or tomorrow. Or before I turn into an asparagus.