I want to lose weight. No, I need to lose weight. No wait... too much weight is waiting... way much weight is weighing me down (stop me, Carol...)
This wasn't a New Year's resolution. I realized that I wasn't happy with the constant knee pain and the first step to being pain free was putting less stress on my joints. Which meant... you got it.
My plan/intent ultimately is to join weight watchers. But right now I'm trying to jump start some weight loss so I can feel excited and proud and the best way to do that quickly and safely is to cut carbs and sugar, eat more protein, veggies and a handful of fats. It's how I lost weight pre-adoption and how I'm jump-starting right now.
My family is aware and truly, couldn't give a shit, one way or another. Okay, not true. My daughter is my personal cheering section and every day asks how I feel and have I lost any weight (I feel great and yes, I have).
I talked to my SIL who does most of the cooking and she said she supported me although was not going to add more meat to our meals. That's fine. What I didn't expect was that she would start making really carb heavy meals that I can't eat.
At first I felt hurt and declared that she was obviously sabotaging me. I sniffled, I went to bed hungry and I sniffled some more. Then I stopped. Because what my SIL chooses to do is no reflection on me or my health or my choices. I'm responsible for me, not her, and she can't sabotage me if I stay the track and remain on the path.
So here I am. I love my SIL and think that right now something is playing out that has more to do with her feelings around food and less to do with me. I need to be willing to put aside my sniffling and when there are no good choices for me, to make my own. I need to buy some groceries just for myself and be willing to take responsibility for buying and cooking my food.
And I need to remember that my health is my responsibility and my family loves me but isn't always going to make the right decisions for my care either. That's why I need to do it.
My life. I'm responsible. (May be my new motto for 2017).