Crazy Job Interviews

I'm looking for a new job. Oh God, I'm desperately seeking new employment before my eyes roll to the back of my head, I start speaking in tongues and doing nasty things to a crucifix the likes of which you only read about in an Ellora's Cave story.

Howevs, recently the interviewing thing has gone completely batshit. I mean, I've had some strange interviews but never to the degree and complete cray-cray that I've experienced lately.

On Friday I went to a clinic to interview for a reception position. The manager turned out to be about 25 years old, looked like he belonged on Big Bang Theory (geek warning ahead) and made me regret not going with the dress that shows my boobs to a good advantage. On the other hand, with the difference in our ages, he might have thought I was trying to nurse him.

Anyway, we sat and said a few pleasantries and then the interview started. "So do you have any questions for me?" he asked. And that was the only question he asked. Multiple times.

Just to be clear: he didn't ask about my experience, he didn't ask why I'm looking for another job, he didn't ask me anything except "Do you have any questions for me?"

Apparently I'd gotten the wrong message and I was there to interview him.

Now today I got a phone call from an eye clinic on a resume I sent. I was asked to call the manager's cell phone. I called and it was the most bizarre conversation I ever had.

She asked if I should be calling her during work hours. I said I was at lunch. She said I had her call on the office phone and that felt wrong to her. I said "wtf?".

She asked me where else had I applied. I told her that I felt that was an inappropriate question. She asked why I was looking for another job and I said I wanted to work more hours. She then made it sound as though the job she had was less hours. I pointedly asked her if it was full time and she said it was. I said "wtf?"

She asked if I'd work Saturdays (not mentioned in the advertisement that there were weekend hours). I said some Saturdays but not all because I have a child.  She asked how old my child was. I said "wtf?"

She asked how much money I wanted to make. I said I wanted the highest they were willing to pay (because I try never to name amounts). She said my answer was the opposite of her question. I said "wtf?"

Anyway, I'm an old, old fart and I've had many phone interviews and face to face interviews but these two were the fucking strangest I've ever had in my life. Seriously they were wtf?