Tuesday, May 8, 2012


This is my daughter. Her name is Mollie and this Sunday she'll be 11 years old. And yes, for you Americans, my daughter's birthday falls on Mothers Day which has a lovely symmetry to it, doesn't it?

Mollie is the love of my life. I've been her mother for 10 years and 3 months, she was 9 months old the first time she was put in my arms. She was a brave and bold baby and quick to laugh. She was incapable of sleeping in a crib and slept with me from the first week we were together till now.

She says she'll sleep in her own bed when she's 40 and I have a feeling she might not be lying.

To try and explain our relationship I'd tell a story about the third week of our life together. We'd just gotten back home from China after being there for two weeks. The house was cold since we'd had the heat off while we were gone. It was one or two am and we got in bed and tried to warm up and fall asleep but we were cold and jet-lagged and there was no sleeping gonna happen.

So with my 10 month old daughter tucked next to me, I turned on the tv and started channel surfing. Somewhere I found a cartoon and Mollie turned to me and smiled, it was both an affirmation that she recognized what a cartoon was and also a smile that said Look at what we just discovered together.

I know that smile really well by now. We share it all the time from serious conversations about school or friends and those wonderful moments when we find something else that brings us both joy.

For all the years I spent looking for unconditional love, I discovered that it can exist between a parent and child. I would die for Mollie and I know she has terror sometimes when she imagines her life without me in it. (The other night she checked to make sure I was still breathing because she felt I was too still. I told her I've done it with her, it's a thing you do when you love someone.)

So can someone tell me why when I had forms to fill out for my child, it asked what my relationship was and had adoptive parent as an option? I'm not an adoptive parent, I'm a parent. Hell, I'm more of a parent than a lot of people whose sperm or egg was used in the making of a child.

Okay, just a rant. And a moment of joy in talking about my baby girl.


  1. When on earth did this happen? And WHY did it happen?

    This PC shit is pissing me off. Thank God I'm a hermit!

    :p x 100!!

  2. Feckers!

    Seriously? Way to make a person feel less than. I hope you ticked the regular parent box to spite them! Eejits.

    You're right though Lori - you're more of a parent than those who were able to go the normal route. Believe me, my ex sister in law may have given birth 5 times but she is not a mother and never will be.

    I consider you and Carolyn as closer to me than actual family although we don't share dna. Do I have to tick a box for that too? :p

    Crazy and uncalled for shit aside, I'm glad you and Mollie have this closeness and cherish each other as you do.

    I had to laugh though at the thought of her sharing a bed until she's 40. I can see she's got your sense of humour lol

    Hugs to y'all!!

  3. Lea, she's serious about sleeping with me till she's 40. She just can't imagine sleeping alone.

    In 2 weeks time she goes to a science camp and will be there for 4 days, 3 nights. It's the longest we'll ever be apart and we're both terrified.

    And yes, I always check the mother/parent box. She's adopted and she's my daughter but she's not my adopted daughter. Nobody is going to tell me otherwise.

  4. Good for you checking that box! That will learn 'em.

    and what if I came up there and brought a tent, and we can camp nearby without them knowing? I hate camping but will do it for ya.


  5. Unless it's for medical reasons, where DNA can be the be all and end all, there is NO reason for that stupid box.


    But hey, congrats a thousand times for that smile and that joy--happiest of Mom's day to you (in advance)