True Pretenses by Rose Lerner

I can't get the book cover to load so pretend you're looking at a picture here...

The blurb: 
Lively St. Lemeston Book 2
Never steal a heart unless you can afford to lose your own.
Through sheer force of will, Ash Cohen raised himself and his younger brother from the London slums to become the best of confidence men. He’s heartbroken to learn Rafe wants out of the life, but determined to grant his brother his wish.
It seems simple: find a lonely, wealthy woman. If he can get her to fall in love with Rafe, his brother will be set. There’s just one problem—Ash can’t take his eyes off her.
Heiress Lydia Reeve is immediately drawn to the kind, unassuming stranger who asks to tour her family’s portrait gallery. And if she married, she could use the money from her dowry for her philanthropic schemes. The attraction seems mutual and oh so serendipitous—until she realizes Ash is determined to matchmake for his younger brother.
When Lydia’s passionate kiss puts Rafe’s future at risk, Ash is forced to reveal a terrible family secret. Rafe disappears, and Lydia asks Ash to marry her instead. Leaving Ash to wonder—did he choose the perfect woman for his brother, or for himself?


What a fucking fantastic book!

Ash is a perfect hero with a horrific background, a con he's running and a heart as big as  an ocean. He thinks little of himself, mostly because of the secrets he carries, but he really is stalwart in many ways.

Lydia is a good heroine. She's mired in grief since her father died: she's a politician without politics, a hostess without a social life, an heiress without money. Her brother who she's hanging all her hopes on is secretly gay and quite miserable.And very, very good at running away.

So when Ash and Lydia spin into each other's orbits... it's beautiful.Ash wants Lydia for his brother, Lydia wants Ash and truly, Ash really does want Lydia for himself.

The best part of the book is that Ash and Lydia are both con men in their own rights and much of the cons they use involve honesty. So Ash slowly tells Lydia every truth about himself, Lydia slowly faces the truths of her own life and ambitions and a beautiful love story unfolds.

I liked everything about this book. There was such a huge vulnerability to Ash where he was a walking, gaping wound but still strong and so needing someone like Lydia to love him as she did. And Lydia was so strong and aware but capable of seeing her own faults and slights and becoming a better person.

One of the best books I've read this year. I can't recommend it highly enough.

And Speaking of Mother's Day

My first ever being a mother at Mother's Day (13 years ago) and we went to a Mother's Day brunch where the surliest waiter in history ruined the entire experience. He was hateful to us, nice to other tables and when we left I spoke to the manager and told him that he ruined what shoulkd have been a great day.

My first Mother's Day.

Mollie's birthday is on the 13th and since the two days are so close together I've made it a habit to ignore Mother's Day and concentrate on the birthday.

Today, I think, was my first real, real Mother's Day.

Yellow roses, a coffee cup and a mirror as well as French toast and bacon for breakfast. All done by my daughter.

I'm on cloud 9.

The Meaning of Life

Is to be alive.

I just read those words and they're resonating pretty strongly right now.

I was over at Aztec Lady's blog reading about the fractures in romancelandia while my own personal life is having some pretty hard times. And I'm looking at all the schisms, all the unhappiness and problems and also the pleasures and joys still out there and I realized that I have it pretty well made.

Because tonight my family will be sitting together at dinner, the adults drinking margaritas and laughing and for that moment tonight, the world will be all right. Later today I'm going to call Carolyn and we'll talk for a good hour about books and life and I'll feel connected. And I'll end the evening tonight sitting with my daughter watching the season finale of Gotham, eating cookies and gasping and giggling and there will be love and connection.

It's about connection. At least, it is for me.

Connections break and with that, we feel adrift. As women we're socialized to relate to the world via our personal relationships. We're taught to clean the house, cook and provide a home for the family. We know that we'll provide the first home via our wombs of our children and good chance many women will be providing the last homes and caregiving for their aging parents.

We're the connection between the family, the community and the world. It's not politics although politics come into it. It's who we are. Who we're taught to be.

This is a little rambling because I feel like something is broke in a lot of different places and I don't know how to fix it. Some is fixable: my job isn't working for me or my employer and I need to find something where my skills work and I can be useful. I'm not getting fired but I am getting discouraged beyond belief and I don't like living this way.

My home life is pretty okay but I don't feel like I have my feet under me completely. Part of it is financial, part of it is missing what I had. Mollie told me the other night that she misses it being just the two of us and although I feel happier with family, I feel sad that my daughter and I struggle to hold onto us. What we like about us.

Online I'm completely adrift. All of my communities are gone. Dear Author used to be my blog home but now I go there and feel wary. Any time I see a NA book reviewed I feel like I'm being ambushed. I don't trust that they have my best interests at heart. I lost my trust. Facebook is the same. If someone isn't trying to sell me something then they're trying to influence my vote, my tastes, myself.

I'm writing because I need some escape from all this. But even that is making me feel fractured because a part of me feels guilty to think that my writing is for sale. I write to be read and because I like my $40 Amazon royalties because they put gas in the car. But I feel deceptive online as an author.

It's a fucking mess. Thank God for margaritas tonight.

My Turn

Carolyn has been posting videos and I thought I'd post one too.

This group is called EXO. They're Korean and Chinese and my daughter recently discovered them and um...  I have no words.

What do you think?

18th Century Rock and Roll

Sexy violinists - who knew?  Thank you, David Garrett (you sexy thing)!

Try

I don't know if it's the woman, the song, the choreography - ah, it's probably all three. It just gels with me. This video is just as good as the Oscar one(was it the Oscars?*scratching head*). Hard to believe she can sing with the incredible acrobatics she does, but this is live and you can hear her breathing near the end.

Just a phenomenal talent.

SALE !!

I'm playing with price points and Amazon deals so right now YESTERDAY'S HEADLINE  

is on sale for 99 cents.

Lea made that gorgeous cover. 

(Lea made a prettier cover that Amazon wouldn't allow because a hand was covering a breast. Oh well. )

Pretty, huh?

Anyway, it's an inter-racial romance set in Hollywood with a black actress named Kipper Dale who has Mommy issues and a hot guy with a ponytail named Hurst who finances restaurants and has brother issues.

The hero is hot, the heroine is smart and fierce and I'm proud of this book.