The Problem with White Women

I Understand the Assignment. 

It's trending on social media. White person after white person posting their "I'm a 65 year old mom of 2 in Kalamazoo and #Iunderstandthe assignment." It's all over my feed and every time I see it I cringe. Because I guarantee you: most white women don't understand the assignment.

White women want to amplify their own voices. Their stories. And they do have stories They deserve to be heard. But they can't understand that they need to let WOC amplify their voices now. Their stories. This is a time in history where the stage is set for others to take the stage and white women to work quietly in the background. 

This isn't the time to tell Black women that you've been fighting the fight since they were in diapers (saw that in a post) or that Kamala represents all women (well yeah and no because Kamala, unlike us WW,  doesn't have white privilege). And remember that Donald Trump has a lot of white women fans and probably no black women fans.

Anyway, the thing that's so cringe-worthy is how performative it's all become. I understand the assignment but don't really plan to do any of the work might be a little more honest. Or I understand the assignment and I want praise because look at how awesome I am.

I don't completely understand the assignment. Because I have spent years trying to amplify my own voice. I have worked hard to make myself the main character in my story. And now I want to be part of this moment but I don't want to make it about myself. I want to do the work but I don't know exactly what work needs to be done.

I'm prepared to listen. I want to see this amazing country of ours become what it should be under the guidance of a woman who doesn't look like me, who has worked harder and smarter than my privileged ass ever had to, and will hopefully ease the disparity in this time. 

Allyship isn't just saying the words. We need to stop performing and start learning what it really means to stand up for others and to make the world a safer place for their voices to be heard and for them to take the stage.

Equal rights doesn't mean you lose any rights you have. Amplifying other voices doesn't mean you're voiceless. It means it's time to learn.

And an Extra $500 to Keep Your Cat Alive

Murder, aka Murder Mittens had surgery today. I've already heard from the clinic that she did well and there's no problems. She's going to be in pain for awhile but I figure the pain before surgery was probably worse.

So anyway, I took her to the clinic this morning to check her in and and they asked me to pre-pay the estimate amount. That was unusual (is it unusual? It's the first time I've ever been asked to pre-pay a medical service). 

And I filled out the consent forms and on one of the forms it honestly asked if the animal stops breathing during the procedure, do you want CPR administered. And if you choose yes, and it happens, it's another $500 to be paid for that service.

It's honest to God, an extra $500 to keep your pet alive.

I need a fucking nap.

Harris/Whomever 2024

Kamala Harris 2024

I don't want to get into the whole Biden/age debate. He was forced to stand down and he did. But Joe wasn't going to go on their terms. He went on his. He dropped out of the 2024 race and endorsed Kamala Harris immediately. Forced the party into a place I don't think they wanted to go.

Not even the party: the money people. The white men with the deep pockets who run the world through "donations" and "presents". The men who own the Supreme Court and many political figures. They wanted the Democratic party in disarray. They wanted a convention full of fighting for the nomination. Joe Biden stepped on their plans and stated support for Kamala Harris right off the bat.

It was a dare and a promise. And Joe won. 

Pretty much the entire party has backed Kamala. All the candidates from 2020 have given her their endorsement. The only question is who she'll run with. There's some good choices. Unlike the Republicans who have JD Vance, more MAGA than Trump himself, she can choose almost anyone (hopefully with some military service in their history) and represent more Americans than Conservative Crazypants/Conservative Asshole do.

I don't think Kamala can win: I know Kamala can win. She's going to galvanize people. Inspire people. Someone said that Kamala will be the president who will give women their bodily autonomy, and as a black, east Indian woman: that will be amazing and correct to happen.

I think she can inspire young people to vote. Women will see her as their champion. And white women might finally step up and be allies and protectors of black women. We've forced them to the sidelines too long. We've centered ourselves for centuries. It's time to flip the script and Kamala can make that happen.

I believe Joe Biden saved our country after 4 years of a venal, lawless president. It's time for younger, forward seeing leadership and Kamala Harris is the woman.

I stand proudly with Kamala.

The World at Large

 I had a doctor's appointment today and was asked if I'm depressed or anxious. "Have you watched the news lately?" I responded.

It feels like we're in a free fall but I don't really think we are. In fact, I don't believe that things are as dire as they feel. And I'm speaking only for myself but here is my thoughts:

Joe Biden is too fucking old to be president. So is Donald Trump. And that's something that needs to be addressed when the House & Senate are blue: age limits on civil servants, term limits on civil servants. 

Project 2025 exists. And word is getting out to the country that this is what they have planned. JD Vance has also been very vocal about wanting an extreme abortion ban and an end to no-fault divorce.  Nobody is going to let him back step on his earlier words. They can scrub their websites but the internet is forever.

I truly don't believe that in November that women, youths, people who are not already MAGA will vote for Trump. I will not believe it. Everyone will be disadvantaged by Project 2025. Everyone will lose rights. Will lose access to healthcare, to education.

This entire ridiculousness regarding Biden dropping out will fade. Let it happen now while we still have 4 months before elections. Other things will happen. Biden is already out there fighting and stepping up. He'll continue to do so. 

Kamala Harris is joyfully being given someone inherently inferior to run against. She should mop the floor with him in a debate. JD Vance is an excellent foil for Kamala Harris.

Hell: JD Vance apparently called the Democratic Party a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable and want the rest of the country to be miserable with them.  I mean, if that's the platform you want to run on: We Hate Women and Cats, then do it. 

The thing I believe is that more people are good than not. More people support women's autonomy. More people support gay marriage. More people support equal rights for all Americans. 

And if Trump wins? I'm moving to Japan to teach English and live with my daughter.                             

What I've Been Watching

 Watched a few different shows recently. A recap:

I Kissed a Boy (on Hulu).  A dating reality show from the UK. Mollie told me about the second season which is I Kissed a Girl which I'm much more eager to watch.

Basically, a group of gay men meet at an Italian villa and are matched by a first kiss. Then they meet other men and decide if they want to kiss the man they're with or kiss someone else. 

It was a pleasant show. Had to have subtitles on because British people are fucking hard to understand. The parties were fun. Lots of glitter and ass-less chaps and alcohol but ultimately, my hope for any dating show is that at least one couple remains after the show. By the Where Are They Now finale show, none of the couples made it work in the real world.

A Family Affair (on Netflix). Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, Joey King and Kathy Bates. I learned that Kathy Bates outshines any and all material she's given. The main character (played by King) was a spoiled, selfish, narcissistic child who I wanted someone to slap.

And I try never to judge on appearance but Nicole Kidman is 57 years old and has had so much work done on her face that she looks like a wax mannequin. And the chemistry between her and Zac Efron was -100. It was painful to watch.

If you want an age gap romance watch The Idea of You on Prime with Anne Hathaway and some teenager names Nicholas. That movie has a few missteps but the romance was much more believable, there was some natural chemistry and Anne Hathaway is simply radiant (because I love her, people). Much better.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (on Netflix). K-Drama with 16 episodes. Heroine is Woo Young-Woo, an autistic attorney who is a law genius but struggles with "normal". She's surrounded by intelligent people and it's fun to watch the cases they work on and how they work together. There's a lot of subtext with misogyny, Patriarchal systems, the lack of care in Korea for autistic children (and ergo, autistic adults).

There is a romance between Young-Woo and Joon-ho, a litigant assistant (who is swoony). It isn't an easy relationship and when they hit a bad time, the understanding of how lonely it can be to be in a relationship with a person who has limited empathy for others ... well, it's really moving.

Only Murders in the Building (on Hulu). This has been around a few years. Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez living in the same apartment building in New York and solving murders. I started the first season and quit in episode 2 or 3. It just didn't hit in any way. Then I got bored and turned it back on one day and the very next scene from where I left off had me laughing. So I binged Season 1 and Season 2 in short order.

I started Season 3 but am not loving the premise. Meryl Streep playing an older ingénue and poking fun of herself. Paul Rudd playing a dick. Got bored quickly and haven't returned.

I have a few K-Dramas lined up on Netflix to watch. I like the shows that have 10 - 20 episodes. Put in a little angst, a lot of longing and some handsome men and I'm your audience. 

When the World is a Shitstorm, Make a Sandwich

It was a patty melt. My mother loved patty melts and so did I. When I was in elementary school, we actually had a Woolworth's Store with a lunch counter. It was the treat for after ballet class, my Mom and I going and sitting at the counter with patty melts and milk, seeing people we knew from Temple, just living the life.

I have almost always chosen a petty melt over a burger anytime I see it on a menu. There are a few different ways it can be made: generally differing only in choice of cheese and very occasionally, some people put a little Thousand Island dressing in them. 

A classic patty melt however is rye bread, hamburger patty, fried onions, cheese and grilled. It's distinct with richness of the meat, the bread having the earthier rye, the onions enveloping the entire mouth with the slight chew and the sharpness and then the cheese bringing it to a perfect bite. 

It was my IHOP standard. Very few places have it any more so IHOP in Hilo and Gramma's Kitchen in Honoka'a were my two places. But Gramma's closed and IHOP took it off the menu. I was told I can still order it and they'll make it but with wheat bread. 

It is not a patty melt with wheat bread.

I felt bereft. Something that has always been an enjoyment in my life is now going the way of the dinosaur. 

Then one day I thought "duh!" And I made one myself.

The problem with making something beloved is that rarely can you recreate in your kitchen what the line cook has been doing for years. Will you get the patties at perfect bite? Will you char the onions? Which cheese?

Yesterday was the day. I grated a block of cheddar. I sliced a onion into ribbons. I took my pan and sautéed onions. I didn't watch them carefully and they browned instead of turning translucent.  But they weren't burnt. I had frozen patties and tossed 2 on the pan. Covered and cooked. Perfect hint of pink in the center and brown outside. 

Jewish rye. Onions. Cheese. Patties. Mayo on the outside of the bread. Clean pan and sandwich down. Beautiful brown on the bread. Flip. Next side perfect. On the plate. Cut in half. 

And it was as good as any patty melt I've ever had anywhere. The flavors were exactly as they were supposed to be. The onions were sharp. The cheese melted and blended the flavors together. The patties perfect. And the bread was exactly right. It was the lunch counter at Woolworth's after ballet class. It was IHOP with my SIL with laughter and pleasure. It was a million small diners over 60 years. It was a comfort and a surprise. 

It was a moment when nothing was wrong but everything had an amazing brightness and possibility. It was hope on a plate. It was a classic American patty melt and something I really needed.

Overdrawn, Overwhelmed

Unless Joe Biden wins the presidency again, our country is over. The Supreme Court handed Presidential Immunity to Donald Trump, a ticket to dictatorship if he wins a second term.

We thought we were playing on a level playing field... maybe we were. Maybe the problem was that we were concentrating on the game we were playing while our opponents were focusing on the championship. 

And they used the Supreme Court to get it. 

I'm completely gutted. I know there are people out there explaining in great detail how this won't mean anything but they're completely wrong. Donald Trump will get away with his crimes. He will try to illegally steal the next election and whether successful or not, he will face no punishment.

We are going to see weaponization of the government to suit one political party and all of those rights people fought so hard to win, will disappear.

Corporations will win. People will not.

America is losing everything that made America great. 

This is the beginning of the most important fight of our lives.