Improper Ladies

 Carolyn and I were talking this morning and we talked about nursing homes and I said that nowadays instead of sweet, old grannies sitting around talking about their grandchildren, it would be crusty, old grannies comparing what members of the band they blew.

And fitting it into my current world view and hate of the systems that tie us down (the patriarchy, capitalism) I just want to be an improper, unforgiving, angry old woman. And while I'm at it: let me mention that selfish needs to hit that list. I am so done with being worried that I want things. I know that wanting isn't selfish. Taking care of myself isn't selfish.

And having boundaries will never be selfish.

We've become part of the invisible nation. Old women, people with disabilities, the unattractive. We don't enhance the view so we should step out. 

Funny how we lose our sexual attractiveness and find our voice. We stop existing for the male gaze and exist for ourselves. 

(There was a young man in the stairwell next to my apartment practicing his rapping. He might as well have been sitting on my couch with me. So I turned on my TV to a cooking show and he left immediately. Now the TV is off and my apartment is quiet, the way I like it. The accommodating woman has left and this old lady is here instead.)