Hazed and Confused

So there I was on Facebook, reading everyone’s links and all up into everyone’s business because that’s the way this momma rolls, when I saw a link a friend posted about Nordstrom’s dressing rooms. And there was the most important thing I’d ever read on the internet in my entire twenty-seven years of life: Nordstrom’s will consider changing the lights in their dressing rooms to make people look more attractive.

God bless Nordstrom’s.

So there were all the comments and they were divided into two camps between the people who were so grateful that when they looked into their dressing room mirrors they might look better than they really do (because real life is full of flattering light, amiright, or what?) and the people who thought that the world is full of reality that sucks and why the hellz would anybody care about the lights in the Nordstrom’s dressing rooms?

I was in the latter camp.

Seriously, who gives a fuck?

But then this morning on Facebook I saw something Lea had posted about my love of Survivor and a someone I don’t know responded and said she’d rather watch grass grow than watch Survivor. And I was pissed. I mean, first world problems, right?

Then I thought about it some more and came to a few conclusions:

1.    Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one that stinks.

2.    The creation of the term First World Problems to suggest unimportant, self-indulgent thinking is such an insult that it doesn’t deserve to be uttered. My problem that I have a cavity doesn’t compare to someone who doesn’t have access to fresh water however I still have a fucking cavity that needs to be taken care of. So shove your first world problem comment up your ass, you condescending butt monkey.

3.    I don’t shop at Nordstrom’s and couldn’t give a shit about their dressing room lights. I do shop other places and still couldn’t give a shit about anyone’s dressing room lights. But that’s me. I didn’t have a need to say that to anyone and insult someone who does give a shit about dressing room lights. To each their own.

4.    I’m sick as crap of everyone’s needs to express their opinions. Yay you precious little sunflower, you have something to say about everything. Keep it to yourself.

5.    The need to throw so much negative is an issue that needs to be looked at. Swear to God, when I meet someone who likes what I like it’s amazing: the air changes and we breathe happiness and unicorns as we share the awesomeness of whatever it is that we both love. But when I say, “oh, I like John Cena” and someone immediately says, “wrestling is fake”, then all it does it suggest that I’m either a moron for liking John Cena or a moron for liking wrestling or a moron for not being as full of the same astonishing brilliance as the stink-hole who just informed me that wrestling is fake. (And I know wrestling is fake but I also know these guys are hardworking athletes who get serious injuries and you can’t do what they do so shut the fuck up.)

 

I’m just sick to death of having to be polite while people give opinions of things they really don’t care about but have to make their position known. What’s so bad about keeping those things to yourself?

I waste a crazy amount of time playing Bingo Blitz on Facebook and the number of people who sit there telling people they’re doing it wrong, just kills me. Seriously, people actually sit and scold strangers for paying a game wrong. Does it affect anyone else, the way they play? Of course not. Doesn’t change my chances for a bingo.

It’s crazy time and I swear, the internet is the crazy pool and we’re all swimming.