Saturday, September 5, 2015

LOLing While I Read

Oh Carolyn, why do you do this to me?

So Kristen Ashley's latest/newest book is out Hold On and it's the last in her Burg series (also the last in the series) and so I have nothing to say about it cause I'm barely into it but the thing is, I just realized...

the people in the Berg don't speak English. None of them do. They have their own language called Tough Tongue.

Tough Tongue (copyright pending) is what white people whose greatest tragedy is breaking a nail would sound like if they were trying to sound super tough but not ghetto.

An example of speaking in tough tongue (copyright pending):

So I was at the mall at that hopped up new store Shizzle and eyeing a leopard print throw but thought I was done with that shit, I mean I got shot of the tiger skin and I'm face-timing with another cat. I know the kind of woman I am, I got my shell and my cage and my hard hearted but angel kissed self on display because who I am is what I am and I know it, deep inside where these things matter and I'll never be shot of the past but I got a clean and shining future for some other bitch, not me, even though he fed me his cock fifteen times last night but that doesn't change my super complicated life. Yeah. I got the leopard throw and it's fucking awesome.

So I'm not far at all in the book but I had to stop reading Because I was laughing too much.

Kristen Ashley sucks at dialogue.


  1. Hee, hee, hee, you are so right. I couldn't continue with the book, I don't think I got even half way. Didn't like Merry in February's book and suddenly he's this alpha, assertive character in this book. And the deal with his ex-wife? I still don't understand it, so let me know if you do, 'kay?

    And the names! An alpha male (or an idiot male who got a makeover for a new book) should never be called Merry, even if it is a nickname.

    I think KA and I will be breaking up, but I'll still have some of her earlier works to I love, love, love. :-)

  2. Well, this makes me want to rush out and read that Jennifer Cruisie book I hurled across the room again. OMG... sinceriously... bahahahaha