Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Living With Chemo

God, when I think of how easy I thought my SIL's cancer/chemo was going to be, I'd like to slap myself. I've discovered hell and it's chemo.

Myrna started chemo only a week ago. The first couple of days after, she was fine. A little achey but doing okay. And then the shit got into her system. Really in. Nasty, all the way, in.

My vibrant SIL aged 15 years overnight. She grew paler, frailer. Her mouth is sore and bleeding, her bowels are either stopped up or exploding. She's clammy and cold but running a fever.

She can barely walk from one room to the next, it takes effort just to talk.

I believe in her strength, I believe that if anyone can come out on the other side, it's Myrna. At least, that's what I believed a week ago. Today I feel like we've already lost a huge piece of her. I know she'll come back: it's 12 weeks and then treatment is over.

But it's like living with the shadow of someone you love.

Chemo is hell on earth. Just is.


  1. My thoughts are with your family, Lori.

    Cancer is one of the cruelest things in life.

  2. Tonight I was making dinner and Myrna was in the kitchen throwing spices on my food and I was growling at her and it felt wonderful to have more of her back.

    It's a hell of a roller coaster. But she's going to come out all right when it's done and we'll be a stronger family for pulling through it together.

    But damn, it's hard.

  3. Hugs all around. AL is right, cancer is cruel and everywhere you turn someone you know has it. Maybe we might see a cure of some sort in our life time.

    I can just see you growling, although I suspect you didn't really want to and yet you did want to, if you know what I mean? Good to see Myrna is back to taking over the cooking... Fingers crossed she makes a quick recovery.