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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I'm Depressed

I'm depressed. Down in the dumps. Boo-hooing all over the place.

I've been reading too much lately. And the more I read, the more I realize I'm just not a very good writer. Or not as good as they are. They are. You know.... them. The ones who write the books that I'm gobbling down and loving and then making me question if I should even keep writing.

Them.

Kristen Ashley. Tessa Dare. Kristen Higgins. The good writers.

My God, I just read Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare and it was wonderful. Witty, sexy, fun. And I reread Sweet Dreams by KA and even though it was full of her hiccups, it was really kick-ass. Hell, I just read Reaper's Property and even though I really didn't like it that much, it was still well written and probably better than anything I can do.

So I got depressed. And I stopped writing. And then tonight I started again.

Because I'm not as good as those women and that's okay. I might never be. I probably will never be. But I can still tell a story and sometimes strangers read my books and they like them. (I have three Amazon reviews for Yesterday's Headline, all strangers and all good. And I know three isn't a lot but hell, that's a real ego boost right there).

So I'll keep writing and I'll keep trying to get better. I'll let Tessa Dare and KA and Ms. Higgins influence me by doing what they do so well.

I'll probably get depressed again too. And that's okay.

I'll just write through it.

5 comments:

  1. If you're no good then I dread to think of a word to describe mine lol.

    As owner of several of your stories, some in actual real life books form (which I loooove) you know I love your writing so I won't blow smoke up your butt and wax lyrical (I can't sing anyways, so be thankful).

    I haven't read these other writer's so I can't compare. And comparing is silly. We're all different, write different, read different etc. You say they are fantastic, I might read them and think they're crap. Same for the stuff I like, you might wonder what's up with that. You say you're no good? My opinion aside, you know others love it too - 3 reviews is great, just imagine all the others who haven't had a chance to review yet?

    Anyway, sorry you're depressed. Hope you can find a way out. Keep writing, you know you have a reader in me.
    xx

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  2. You're sweet hun, and seriously not looking for compliments.

    I think we all do it and it's normal: compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking. Recently however, I've just been reading sooooooooo much that its been really in my face. Which is okay.

    I think my major point is that no matter how much I might find myself lacking, I'm not going to stop. One can't improve if one doesn't keep trying.

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  3. I hear ya. I often wonder why I bother but since I took on the philosophy of writing like no-one is reading, well it's helped and I've wanted to write. That hasn't been the case for donkey's years.

    Glad you're still going ahead too :)

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  4. I would have to come up there and beat your ass if you ever quit writing. You're good. I agree with Lea, we're all different - readers, writers and those in between. You love writing so much, it would be a sin to stop.

    Let us not sin. :-)

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  5. I will further Lea's point: it's well known that people far more easily complain than praise--for each one of those reviews, you can easily count on a dozen or more happy readers who can't be bothered to say anything, for laziness is the predominant in-built feature in humans.

    I love the idea of writing like no one is reading--write for you, what you'd want to read, the way you would want it written.

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