Pages

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Holiday Schmoliday

I'm going to be a cranky old fart and pfft! on the holidays.

Okay, truth be told, I'm a complete and total dewdrop when it comes to the holidays. I totally love everything about them. I decorate, I bake, I wrap everything in festive holiday wrap and give myself warm snugglies like a crazy bitch.

I am a Christmas Ho-Ho-Ho.

About the only thing I don't like about the holidays is my family. Ha! We're not especially close and we kind of force ourselves to do a pretend lovey-dovey ding-dong thing that I could live without.

Otherwise, get me some eggnog, Elf, and keep the fire crackling!

I always feel like writing holiday stories that I rarely complete. I buy Christmas romances that I never read. I do however, watch all the Lifetime Christmas movies and masturbate with some mistletoe in a holiday buzz.

Carolyn, I will point out, is a grinch. Wish her a Merry Christmas and she'll start snarling that when she was a girl they had to eat reindeer to get through the Canadian winters and Rudolph would made a damned fine red-nosed roast.

So around this time of year we'll just tiptoe around our Southern Canadian cutie and hope no carolers come to her door. Hopefully they learned from the last time when she turned the hose on them and pelted them with mutant gingerbread men.

Ho ho ho indeed.

3 comments:

  1. A little something for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCg1I84VTaU

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, love it Willa :)

    Lori, bugger your family, come meet mine. You will crave your own within 24 hours. Especially after all the crapola that has hit the fan. Oy vay!

    I hope you do get the writing finished, the books read and movies watched. I won't even touch the mistletoe comment...

    I also will wish Carolyn a Merry Christmas. Only because I'm at the arse end of the world and far enough away she can't slap me upside the head lol.

    Merry Christmas to you too Willa, and all the other readers of the blog :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's no coincidence that there are more suicides during the holiday season than at any other time of the year--put people who purposely live on opposite sides of the continent together in a room, with the implicit obligation to be nice to each other--or risk the earning the (already well won) label of "not a normal, loving family" and tempers are sure to strain all bounds of civility.

    This is why, I think, 9 out of 10 customers at work behave like total assholes from mid November until the first week of January.

    ReplyDelete