Did You Vote Yet?

 I dropped my ballot off at the Office of Elections last week. This week I have the usual writing class, physical therapy appointments and a probable dinner date with my brother and his wife.

I love my brother but politics has done a huge number on our relationship. It isn't the absolute horror of his supporting racist, misogynist policies but the lack of moral character he's shown himself to have. 

My very, most basic belief is that children should not go hungry and children should not get shot in the schools. That's my bottom of bottom lines. I don't believe anyone should go hungry, be homeless or get get shot. But the most bottom of my beliefs is children should be protected. And to say that to another human being and have that other person argue with you on those two issues: it ended something inside me. If your right to own a gun supersedes a child's right to stay alive during the school day, there's just something fundamentally wrong with you. If you can argue that some kids deserve hunger (no free school lunches, no free assistance) then there's something inhumane in you.

At this point, in this election, people are getting down to basics. It's no longer policies or budgets (although they matter), it's the basic moral fiber of America and how we see ourselves.

I don't want Kamala Harris to win because she's a democrat. I want her to win because she is what America stands for. She is born from immigrants, she was primarily raised by her mother post divorce (when she was 5) and she fought for every step she took. She was never a DEI candidate, she was simply the best candidate. 

Anyway, I have an assignment due for class tomorrow that I haven't finished and I want to take a nap. Vote. Vote. Vote.

Life Changing or Changing Lives?

 I've finished my postcards to Ohio and mailed them out. I've filled in my own ballot and will drop it off at the Office of Elections on Monday. I have donated. I wear my Cat Ladies for Kamala shirt when I'm going out where people will be.

I am, essentially, now done with the election. I have no more to give emotionally or financially. I'll repost from KamalaHQ on TikTok and Threads and of course, I'm speaking out. But it's only 2 weeks basically and I'm just going to plan my Nov 5 election watch party. I have physical therapy in the morning and I think a fruit tray and Cheetos is what I'll need. 

I've been going to a writing class on Mondays. It's at the senior center so it's focused on memoirs and I'm focused on fiction but I'm appreciating the experience. I'm the youngest in the class (huh) and it's all women. Some of these women have amazing life experiences: one was married to a diplomat, one was an AP journalist, one lived in Paris for years. I appreciate just hearing their stories.

I also appreciate the understanding that certain experiences have a lot to give, some a little and some none at all. The class has been a contrast: one day I walked out with my mind blown, the amount of knowledge that had been passed on was life changing. The very next week was dull, nothing to spark my interest, nothing to learn. Yet even realizing that some days you just show up is fine. 

One nugget of wisdom I received from the class: Write from the scar, not from the wound. (I'll let you take what you will from that. It blew my mind.)

Still and all, right now I'm completing obligations so that I can concentrate on what I want my life to feel like. I've spent so long trying to fit into structures where I didn't belong, now I get to rewrite these years to be my most happy, creative self and I'm starting to open the door to the possibilities of what that means.

I'm revisiting things that have worked for me in the past, trying to drop those things that don't fit. Press-on nails, caramel protein shakes and K-Dramas work. Cooking extravagantly, fast food and appointments don't work. Spending money is not good. Planning a vacation with my daughter is very good.

I'm learning my bliss. Life is seriously good.

The Horror of South Korea

 There is a huge problem in South Korea and it isn't the 4B movement. It's the young men. It's the rise of deep fake porn, sexual assault, sexual abuse, misogyny and patriarchy. 

These conversations keep happening and then getting swept under the rug.

Taeil, a K-Pop idol from South Korea, in the popular group of NCT, is part of a police investigation regarding rape, child abuse and assault. He has been released from his label, wiped clean from social media and started what might become a sweeping indictment issue that could span a lot of South Korean entertainment. 

The problem is of course, the society that punishes rape with suspended sentences, that don't care at all for the victims and have told victims that it's just part of a woman's life. And for men they aren't being socialized to see women as autonomous humans but rather as property.

The deep fake problem is out of control. There are chat rooms where boys can post pictures of girls, teachers, family members and within minutes someone has created a deep fake porn video with that woman's face superimposed. (This is AI generated, something the government is fighting against fixing).

However, the problem is beginning to go deeper which isn't being reported on and is coming from South Korean feminists, who have to hide because once a woman is identified as a feminist, they are doxxed, deep faked and in danger.

South Korean feminists are reaching out to feminists all over the world because these aren't just boys doing this to teachers or school mates. They are doing it to their own sisters and mothers. There have been incidents of family member rapes, nude pictures leaked...

Studies have shown that 80% of South Korean men have admitted to physical, sexual or psychological abuse of women. (Got that number from Google, btw)

Anyway, I'm not a sociologist. What I am is a K-Pop fan and a K-drama fan who can't currently enjoy entertainment currently because I'm afraid that someone I'm sighing over might be someone who has hurt a woman. 

Supposedly there will be more names coming out of South Korean entertainers who have been a part of the chat rooms and conversations which Taeil was a part of. A lot of women are sick over this right now. 

We don't know celebrities and who they really are. We don't know what men are capable of when they think they're untouchable.

This is sickening.

Things I've Learned This Week

 1. This first thing I learned yesterday when I finally (5 months after the referral was sent) got into Physical Therapy: my knee pain is very specific and not the cause of my problems. I have a nerve (femoral or sciatic) which got injured in my fall in February and it's the root cause of my worst pain and my decreased movement.

Happily it's entirely fixable through stretching, exercise and massage. My greatest fear recently has been the idea of going to Japan and not being able to walk. My therapist said that will not be a problem. 

2. Nothing makes a home feel dirtier than broken things in it. 

We had two days of severe tropical storms and flooding and my bedroom got a small flood. Pulling everything up and out has kick started me into spring cleaning (I don't care if it isn't spring) and the worst part was recognizing that I have a broken chair, broken vacuum, broken mop all taking up space. They're in the car now to go for a dump run tomorrow. 

3. Sometimes you really do want to eat an entire cucumber. With a home made reduced calorie ranch dressing. 

4. Forgiveness is key to moving on with your life. Not forgiving those who hurt or diminished you but forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for living for years in survival mode. Forgive yourself for choices and mistakes that you made. 

5. Mainstream media is dying. The New York Times had 2 recent op-eds: Joy is not a strategy (regarding Harris) and Trump could win on character alone.

Irony is also a victim in this crime.

6. Love is sometimes an obligation. Liking someone never is.

WTF Was He Thinking and Let's Get Demure With It

Donald Trump posted on his social media website, Truth Social, an endorsement from Taylor Swift. One little problem: she never endorsed him. She hates him. She votes Democrat.

Taylor Swift took a man to court for grabbing her ass at an event (and sued him for one dollar because she wanted to make a point) and she won. Taylor is not going to be okay with Trump claiming she endorsed him.

Sit back for the fireworks.

The DNC convention is taking place this week and it's going to be a celebration. I'm going to say that personally Donald Trump did one thing for my life to better it: he got me interested and learning more about government. 

On a personal level: since retirement my nervous system has really been recalibrating and I spend a lot of time sleeping. I've spent most of my life existing in a mode of hyper-vigilance and now that I'm safe, now that I'm not trying to people please or exist in unwelcome spaces: the tension and anxiety are dripping away. When I'm aware nowadays, I feel the change of not having to check out where the exits are.

Anyway, it's a really strange thing to experience.

TikTok has been exploding lately. That amazing "let's be mindful, let's be demure" trend is a joy. (Background: trans creator Jools Lebron did a video talking about "let's be mindful and not show the cha-cha's at work, let's be demure" which is just a wonderful vibe and very tongue in cheek and even Joe Biden has done it and the mad popularity has made Jools enough money to now pay for her transition surgeries). 

Also on TikTok is cucumber boy Logan "Sometimes you just need to eat an entire cucumber" who is causing cucumber shortages around the US. There is only one grocery store in all of Hilo who has cucumbers in stock. He is single handedly changing how Americans eat by showing all the wonderful and easy recipes using a cucumber and one container. I've made 2 so far and am dying to do more but wasn't able to get the cucumbers.

Also, Logan showed an easy pickling technique and I have pickled onions and carrots in my fridge now and I love this so so much.

I have 1000 postcards to fill out and send on October 15 to Ohio voters. Going to start writing them now. 

Watch this space for more updates about Swift and Trump. This is going to be fun.

A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher

The Blurb:    Cordelia knows her mother is . . . unusual. Their house doesn’t have any doors between rooms—there are no secrets in this house—and her mother doesn't allow Cordelia to have a single friend. Unless you count Falada, her mother's beautiful white horse. The only time Cordelia feels truly free is on her daily rides with him.

But more than simple eccentricity sets her mother apart. Other mothers don’t force their daughters to be silent and motionless for hours, sometimes days, on end. Other mothers aren’t evil sorcerers.

When her mother unexpectedly moves them into the manor home of a wealthy older Squire and his kind but keen-eyed sister, Hester, Cordelia knows this welcoming pair are to be her mother's next victims. But Cordelia feels at home for the very first time among these people, and as her mother's plans darken, she must decide how to face the woman who raised her to save the people who have become like family.

I'm a huge T. Kingfisher fan. There's almost nothing they write that I don't love (with the exception of a horror title or two). And this book is just **chef's kiss**

The story is simple: Evangeline is a sorceress. Cordelia is her daughter. Evangeline is cold, beautiful, cruel... she can 'occupy' people and make them do terrible things. Like murder. 

Her goals in life are thus: marry rich and make sure her daughter marries rich. To achieve that Evangeline finds Samuel, an older, guileless bachelor with a nice estate, an astute sister Hester and no ability to understand the viper he brought home.

Cordelia finds something in Samuel's household that she's never experienced before: safety. Hester is a lovely character. Hester will do anything to save her brother and soon, to save Cordelia too. And with a group of supportive friends (and an ex-lover), Cordelia finds a family and people worth risking everything for.

I'm not a reviewer and I won't try (for great, thorough reviews read Aztec Lady's Blog . Those are some brilliant reviews.) Hell, half the time I don't even remember the character's names a day later. I just remember how a book made me feel. And if it had major plot holes are silliness that took me out of the story.

Sorceress was the real deal. Intriguing, well-written. The evil was excellent. The betrayal of Cordelia by her mother's horse was everything. And the kindness she was shown not just by Hester and her friends, but also the servants in the house was lovely. Cordelia was a girl who wasn't allowed even the freedom to have her own thoughts. To be given safety was everything and knowing her own mother's goals and plans putting everything in danger ... exquisite.

The story did things unexpected. Everybody was resourceful and committed to helping. I didn't love the one otherworldly element introduced but it ended so perfectly that I won't quibble.

On a scale of 10: this book was a 9.2. 

A Noble Man

 A Noble Man

Carolyn sent this to me this morning and I want to share. Joe Biden is a great man and this is a wonderful watch. I teared up watching this. It isn't often anymore that you actually see someone who believes in public service and believes in Democracy the way this man does.

I believe his legacy will be a great one.