So my new vacuum arrives today. The phone chargers are coming in tomorrow and the keyboard for the bedroom computer arrives on Saturday. Obviously I've bought stuff.
But all the things I've bought are things I either need or will use. Nothing pretty, nothing for witchcraft or play. And I'm starting to get it. I'm really starting to get it.
When I started cleaning (I mean, really cleaning out), a lot of the frivolous stuff I bought from fast fashion sites or on Target runs were the first to go. Some of the things I bought, I love. I got jewelry I love and some rugs. Some small decorative pieces. But the things that were bought to be useful, mostly weren't. And I bought things that were just so unnecessary but the dopamine rush of shopping and buying...
And I got notifications that I was getting deliveries all at the same time and I felt guilty for a minute. My new no-buy self had failed. And it's only February.
Except I haven't failed at all. I've been living with a $20 vacuum cleaner from Walmart that falls to pieces while I'm using it. I need a decent vacuum. I need charging cords for my phone. And my work computer failed terribly as a work computer so I'm back on my original laptop and my boss said to do whatever I want with the desktop computer and big ass, beautiful monitor. Well, it's going to get set-up on my bedroom desk and share space with the sewing machine. I'm going to wipe it clean and then just add games and a writing program and I'm gonna love it. But I need a keyboard and got a $50 keyboard from Amazon for $20 and damn...
What I'm not doing is planning out my paychecks to leave myself money to shop with. I'm not seeing that I have $50 after bills and groceries so let's go browse shopping sites. I'm not browsing shopping sites.
There's a greater sense of catching my breath right now. Of controlling the dopamine and finding peace. My no-buy plan was successful in a much larger way than just saving money.
Total win.
I love this realization for you: that spending money on things you need is in a different universe from "retail therapy" (a pox whoever coined that phrase) , and that you are, in fact, doing really, really well.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself, my friend, and celebrate every win.
Talk about a learning curve. Once I started controlling a lot of the negative self-talk (always a work in progress), I've been able to see myself clearer and give myself more kudos.
DeleteI wish I had your restraint. I've been on Insta (as your inbox knows lmao - sorrynotsorry) and occasionally an ad will pop up to make me stop. Needless to say I then search for a cheaper version - there is usually a heap - and then voila; money gone.
ReplyDeleteLooks like my holiday to Hawaii is going to be later than I liked :(
Can I borrow the vacuum when you're done ? ;) xxx
It's pink...lol
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