You know that moment when someone says something that blows your mind with its simplicity and truth? I saw that on Twitter yesterday when author N.K. Jemison responded to a Twitter post and said about close friendships: Don’t call them your friends, call them your partners. Relationships between people deserve their own definitions as decided by those people, not by society.
Do you know how simple and true that is? I mean, think about it. I live with my brother and sister-in-law and yes, they’re family and all but as far as living together we’re also roommates and partners. My friendship with Carolyn has spanned 15 years and we’ve written books together, shared happy and sad and websites, we’re more than friends, at this point Carolyn is my sister.
(Lea, I know you’re reading this and I think of you as my long-distance girlfriend.)
Anyway, the thing is that I loved the idea. The awareness that we all have relationships that skip around the random borders we assign. My night boss, the amazing Kozy is my boss, my friend, my soon to be divorced husband. We bounce around between loving each other, wanting to stick each other with sharp, pointy things and sometimes just doing the boss/employee relationship too.
Anyway, my mind was pleasantly blown and I’m delighted. And I just wanted to share.
**want to add that in 2 days a couple of 18 year olds have blown my mind. Yesterday I received a present from my daughter of a book she heard parts of in a class and thought I would enjoy. It’s the first time she ever bought me a present that wasn’t for an occasion. I was gobsmacked and delighted.
And my girl’s high school friend Winnie auditioned for a Performance Art College and was accepted at her audition! So she’s transferring colleges for next year. I’m so fucking proud of that girl. And her words of love to me after my words of congratulations to her made my heart melt.**
Honoured and proud to be your girlfriend - long distance or otherwise ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd so true about how we define people, different to what society expects. We have friends we've known forever and they're family - aunt, uncle and cousins and we consider them closer than real family. I also think of you girls as family. You took my under your wing and have supported me when needed and that's just the facts. Love ya long time!
And how wonderful for your girls. First, Miss Mollie - I love that she bought an actual book... but how cool that she thought you would enjoy and sent it along. Special. And to Miss Winnie - awesome news. Don't you just love it when someone gets their chance at a dream?
This post has made me all tingly - thanks Sugar Drawers. BIG HUGS xxxx
Sister I accept; partner not so much. It has different connotations for me. I am, after all, an old fart. :-)
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