Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Maybe I'm Afraid

I haven't been writing, not really. I've painted furniture and done day trips with my daughter and even took a nap but opening up the Word program and writing well, not so much

Because I'm terrified of failing.

I thought that maybe I'm just being too ambitious and I should write something else. Maybe I should hide behind my own silliness and not do this. What happens if I write it and it's awful? What happens if this story that means so much to me is crap in everyone else's eyes?

What if I'm not good enough to write something ambitious?

What if I am?

What if?

I know it's all bullshit. You don't get to be an old fart and not know when you're blowing smoke up your own ass. So I'm scared of failing and writing a shitty book. I won't know until I do it. So I might as well do it.

Yesterday I finally sat down with my nano project and culled the good stuff which was pretty okay. I saved about 35,000 words and figure even out of that there's another 5 -10,000 which will need to be tossed but it's a solid beginning.

And today I started writing.

If Lea jumps in to fake nano with me, we'll have a finished 80,000 word book by the end of February. It might be the worst thing I'll ever write. It might be the best. But at least I'll have written it.

Terror is okay. As long as it doesn't get in the way of writing.


  1. You have already written it, m'dear, you are now just polishing it up--tossing what doesn't belong, so to speak.

    But you have already written your book--you can't fail here.

    I'm sitting here, looking at your courage. You've done this, you can do what comes next.

  2. What AL said! You know I love and am jealous of your writing, so I won't add more smoke up your bum :) Whatever you need, I'll do.

    Just trust that it will work and it usually does. You know we all believe in you, so that's half the battle, right?


  3. AL is a wise woman, and Lea ain't no slouch either!

    You'd best listen, darlin' - you're sounding like me, lol.


    OMG! Have I infected you?!! I din't mean to .... I want to read the damn story, you've already salted my pastures by giving me chapters. (bad metaphor warning). I want to read the whole thing, so please, listen to the laydeez. (I can't give you advice on this particular problem, because, well, you know ... I never overcame my own.)

  4. Damn AL, I just got an anvil dropped on my head in the nicest way possible.

    Thank you.

  5. So long as you know the anvil was dropped with love... (((Lori)))