Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Anatomy Of A Cover

I love me some daily deals but I'm always flabbergasted that authors I've never heard of are described as award winning and best-selling. And then the other day it occurred to me that I could make the same claim!!

I happen to be the best selling author in my family. And I've won awards! In 4th grade I got an award for hula-hooping and in college I was awarded "Cheapest Date Who Also Puts Out" by Phi-Kappa-Cuppa.

OMG! My worth as an author rises!

So here is my newest cover.


It has a quote by Mega-Selling Author C.L. McCullough who received no compensation (as long as a promise to stop sexting her husband doesn't count) who said of my major opus: "Reading this book makes me want a dick of my own."

And Lea said "I love dick" but I'm not allowed to quote her any more.

And all that writing that covers up the picture because that cowboy on the cover doesn't have a big dick at all... well, it's just a reminder that I've written other books that nobody has ever bothered to read.

I'm excited. Buy it now. It's not worth the paper it's not printed on.

**Addendum: I made this cover as a joke. Then I had to start writing the story that goes along with it. My life is just weird.


  1. Your life may or may not be weird (I'm reserving judgement) but your mind is utterly delightful.

  2. Firstly - HMPH - for that quote. I said 'who doesn't love dick?'

    Secondly - BAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Thirdly - is it written yet :D

    PS - I agree with AL :D

  3. Um ... Lori ... darlin' ... words fail me. Except to say: Lea is your friend. You should remember this. Lea is your friend and she can HELP you, I promise!

    Otherwise - LMAO!!