Thursday, December 31, 2020

Thank God It's Over

 Driving into work this morning, talking to Carolyn and realizing that tomorrow is January 1 and in a few days the Georgia run-off will be decided and end of the month we'll have Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in office.

Our first woman in the white house.

Tres excellent.

Honestly, I'm not expecting miracles. But it will be nice to have a president who'll feel compassion. Can you believe that in the year of pandemic, the president of these divided states never once stated that he was aware or cared about all the Americans who died. Not once. Not once. 

We've had a monster running our country. We might now have another old, doddering white guy but at least he has empathy and heart.

Okay.

New Years.

If the world doesn't blow up tonight I'll be thankful to have gotten through 2020. Who can ask for more.

And let me say that the woman, as the women always do, got me through this year: Mollie, Carolyn, Lea, Myrna, AztecLady, Divas and Monbebes.

Thank the fuck it's finally over.

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

The World Isn't Burning

 just ignore the flames...


Monday, December 28, 2020

Bridgerton

 If you're on Twitter then you know the talk is all about Bridgerton, the new Netflix series. Based on the Bridgerton series by Julia Quinn, it's a love or hate.

I read the books (not all of them since finishing series is not something I aspire to but I remembered enough of the book to have moments of "oh yeah, I remember this).

So love or hate? I loved it. The hero, Simon is played by Rege-Jean Page who is utterly delectable. He's so fucking hot and when he turns a heated gaze onto the heroine my panties had scorch marks. That man has perfected the sexy smolder.

The heroine Daphne was so nondescript... she was probably perfect in the role but she was just bland as hell. I loved everyone else. The costumes were inspired. Not the proper ladies because they were boring. But oh my, the other ladies with their crazy colors and swelling bosoms. I was in heaven watching this.

So the things that people disliked was the casting being diverse. The Queen was black, the hero was black. Black, white, Asian... maybe it wasn't realistic but there was no reason not to have a diverse cast. As Karen Scott (from the former Karen Knows Best blog) said: why not show people having an experience that isn't tied to slavery trauma? Why can't these folks, just like white folks, have the pleasure of escapist fluff with people who look like them?

(We all need to see people in entertainment who look like us having more experiences than just 'ancestor was slave' or 'I can't birth no babies Miz Scarlett')

The other thing that got people's panties in a bunch was a scene where the H/h are having sex and the Simon does not want to have children and Daphne does and she gets on top and he ejaculates into her which was very not okay. So a non-consensual sex thing during a consensual sex act where a 90 pound heroine was atop a 180 pound, muscular, athletic man and he couldn't just lift her off of him and ejaculate on her stomach as usual.

That seemed silly to me.

Anyway, watch the damned show. It's delightful.

Sunday, December 27, 2020

2020 Can Suck My Dick

 Once upon a time there was a place called America. Americans, like humans anywhere, were amazing, frustrating, awful and wonderful. It was far from perfect and if your skin wasn’t white, it could be downright deadly.

But America always had promise. There was a sense that one day America would get it right. One day the ones on top wouldn’t have so much power over those on the bottom. People with might care about those without. A $15 minimum wage, better funding for schools in challenging neighborhoods, shifts toward a greater equality.

It takes a village, you know.

But then came Trump. And with Trump we saw the side of America we tried to avoid. Oh hell, being a white liberal in the age of Trump was, well, not as bad as being dark skinned or an immigrant or anything else you can imagine. But it sure was eye opening.

And the pandemic was... holy shit. You know, with any other president, any other human in the presidency, we would have seen a global effort to wiping out Corona. We would have led the fight. We would have been the mother fucking superheroes this fight needed.

But we failed. And it wasn’t just Trump. The entire Republican Party showed their asses and what an unveiling that was. It wasn’t just that the party hates brown and black skinned people. We kinda knew that. It was discovering that the Republican Party hates America. Americans. You. Me. 

In less than a month Joe Biden will be president but in that month we’re going to see the Republicans do all they can to destroy America and leave Americans gasping for air. We’re going to see everything left in disarray and tatters with the hope that Biden can’t fix what was left behind.

The democrats will play their political games that never work, trying to reach across the aisle and unite Americans. What we need is someone with backbone who can say “fuck those guys” and find a way to railroad right through them. We need Mitch McConnell brought up on obstruction charges. We need sedition charges against every Republican who claimed the election wasn’t legal.

We need balls in the White House. Which is why I don’t believe in Joe Biden. But I do believe in Kamala. And Katie. And AOC.

I truly believe the only thing that will save America is women. I have only seen balls and courage from the women in politics. 

2020 and Trump and the replicants can suck my dick. Pussies are going to save our country.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Unemployed Again

Short story: we were a terrible match. I hated the job and they hated me. My self esteem is taking a major hot right now and I don't know if I can ride out this pandemic and then get on Social Security and find a part time job to help monetarily.

On the other hand: I feel much happier and more energized recently. That last job was such a downer and feeling like I don't have to be quiet and not be me is a relief to walk away from.

Coronavirus rates on the islands are rising. We had no infections on our island specifically but now those numbers are up. We've been closed down for months and the economy is dead.

Quick news: Mollie is now a sophomore. Her grades are good and she loves being in Tokyo, even if she is quarantined.

Taylor Swift just released a new album: folklore. I'm not a Swiftie but I think she's talented as hell and this album is amazing.

Hamilton on Disney + is amazing. If you can see it, see it.

The Old Guard on Netflix is also amazing and Charlize Theron is the ultimate badass. Serious woman crush happening here.

Poetry being read and written.

I love you guys out there. Stay safe.


**Note: unemployment lasted less than a week. I just accepted a job with my old employer from 2 years ago and I start day after tomorrow. I'm speechless.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer

Nita doesn’t murder supernatural beings and sell their body parts on the internet—her mother does that. Nita just dissects the bodies after they’ve been “acquired.” Until her mom brings home a live specimen and Nita decides she wants out; dissecting a scared teenage boy is a step too far. But when she decides to save her mother’s victim, she ends up sold in his place—because Nita herself isn’t exactly “human.” She has the ability to alter her biology, a talent that is priceless on the black market. Now on the other side of the bars, if she wants to escape, Nita must ask herself if she’s willing to become the worst kind of monster.

Oh my God. I devoured this book. Swallowed it whole in a sitting.  It's all that with a big slice of more.

This book is grim, brutal, edge of your seat... Exactly what you need for a pandemic depression. Not a book for the squeamish or the tenderhearted. I am, obviously, neither. It was sitting on the Kindle (thank you Carolyn!!) and I had just finished reading Book 2 of the Glimmer Lake series (Suddenly Psychic and Semi Psychic Life). Enjoyable books about a group of friends over the age of 40 with chin hairs, tattoos, exhaustion and oh yeah, sudden psychic abilities. Cute books, highly recommend. So I was looking for my next read and opened Not Even Bones to see what it was and got sucked in like blood in a vampire's teeth.

Nita, the protagonist of the book, is young, timid and likes dissecting dead bodies that her parents sell on the dark web. Nita thinks she's a good person and she doesn't even think about the fact that all these dissected bodies were murdered by her mother. Until Mom brings home a living teenage boy that she wants to slowly dissect while keeping him alive.

Nita helps the boy escape and finds herself in his place (kind of). She's kidnapped and is finding herself being sold on the black market, in pieces. And then wow, the story goes to places you'd never dream.

So much happens. I don't want to spoil any of it but there's another character who is a 'zannie', a creature who eats people's pain. He's a great torturer. Untrustworthy. Terrifying.

But he's far from the most terrifying. Because Nita quickly changes in this situation. She's completely feral, her morals become a memory. She's Jane Doe with bad luck and even more savagery.

This is not an easy book and Nita isn't an easy heroine. Kovit, the zannie, is a terrible and yet perfect character. This is Book 1 of Market of Monsters, a trilogy. I just bought book 2, Only Ashes Remain. Book 3, When Villains Rise, the last of the trilogy will be released in September.

I fucking loved this book and I am not suggesting it for others. You know if it's a book you can tolerate. If I had known what it was before I started it, I might not have tried it. I'm glad I did. You might not be quite so glad.

But it's a stunner of a book.

Friday, April 24, 2020

We're Living In A Parody World

There's just no way this is real. I've been trying to wrap my mind around it and there's only one explanation: we're living in someone's parody of the world.

When the President of the United States suggests UV lights and drinking bleach to get rid of the Coronavirus, you know the world isn't real and there's some teenage boy in charge who just smoked weed for the first time and is giggling madly while making this shit up. In fact, LADIES BEWARE!!  We're probably all going to wake up tomorrow with huge, perky boobs that defy gravity. Cause: teenage boy.

And there's adults out there who are trying to make sense of it all and get us through these times but they shouldn't bother. Cause this kid hasn't tried mushrooms yet and once he does we're even more fucked than currently.

So we can pray the kid's mother shows up and tells him to clean his room and maybe some of this will also get cleaned up but don't hold your breath. Bobby or Jack or Marvin or whatever his name is, well, he's in charge right now. Expect our politicians to go even further banana-pants and the world to get more ridiculous. And don't worry about bras anymore, because our new Double Z's will stand up on their own.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Sparking Some Motherfucking Joy in This Time of Corona

Smart Bitches, Smart Choices

So Carolyn sent me this link today from Smart Bitches and this is among the reasons that Carolyn is my BFF, BWB and BXYZ all rolled up into one. She knows me. I mean, she KNOWS me.

So to summarize: instead of using this time in quarantine to try and accomplish things and cross off items on a to-do list, this is the time to acknowledge that many of us can't make our brains co-operate so instead of trying to create, organize to create instead.

It's a fucking wonderful idea. I love it.

I know I'm not going to start any new projects right now. I have a few almost finished quilts/hangings that I can finish (slowly) but there are others that I'm stuck on. So instead I've decided to start 'project bags'. Using the idea that she discussed in Smart Bitches.

My knitting is still rudimentary although I find it wonderfully peaceful to do. So I have a pattern for a simple shawl which I'll choose some yarn and put together for when I'm ready to knit. There's a simple hat pattern that I'd like to try.

I'm also going to start organizing fabric for quilts.

And... a reading list. Why not do it all? Go though the TBR pile and make a list of the books and authors and blurbs and get that together for future reviews? LOVE IT!!! 

This appeals to my creative but super stressed out self. It gets me on track to be ready to create and maybe even create when the urge hits but to organize sparks extreme joy.

Happy me. Thank you Carolyn.

Oh, and btw: I've started having a nightly nightcap. A large shot of Kalua, a dash of heavy cream, a half cup of milk, a squirt of chocolate syrup mixed and then add ice. It's a decadent, adult chocolate milk. So yummy. And one that I think Carolyn's sister has already discovered but Carol doesn't realize that it's spiked. Ha ha!

Life is brilliant even in quarantine.

Monday, April 6, 2020

The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West

From the moment powerful men started falling to the #MeToo movement, the lamentations began: this is feminism gone too far, this is injustice, this is a witch hunt. In The Witches Are Coming, firebrand author of the New York Times bestselling memoir and now critically acclaimed Hulu TV series Shrill, Lindy West, turns that refrain on its head. You think this is a witch hunt? Fine. You've got one.

In a laugh-out-loud, incisive cultural critique, West extolls the world-changing magic of truth, urging readers to reckon with dark lies in the heart of the American mythos, and unpacking the complicated, and sometimes tragic, politics of not being a white man in the twenty-first century. She tracks the misogyny and propaganda hidden (or not so hidden) in the media she and her peers devoured growing up, a buffet of distortions, delusions, prejudice, and outright bullsh*t that has allowed white male mediocrity to maintain a death grip on American culture and politics-and that delivered us to this precarious, disorienting moment in history.

This book is a killer. I read it yesterday and was trying to explain to Carolyn why I liked it so much and I still can't articulate it that well but I think the author has a friendly voice, although a truly angry tone, I agree with everything and it didn't leave me optimistic but it didn't leave me in despair.

Carol asked me if the writer was glass half empty or glass half full and honestly, it doesn't matter because the glasses are all owned by men anyway.

But here's the thing: I was reading the book yesterday and then at dinner my brother started on  a rant about people trying to take away guns and all that nonsense. And usually I get mad and either stay quiet and seethe or argue and seethe. Last night I didn't do either of those things. Instead I responded but simply and with clarity. So he knew which buttons to push and started talking about female politicians who didn't even know about the guns they were talking about and bringing up "ghost guns" and shit that doesn't exist.

I responded that male politicians don't have the faintest clue about women's bodies and reproductive organs but they legislate those all the time. And that kind of ignorance didn't seem to bother him at all. So I can't be bothered to care if a politician believes a gun round has 15 or 15,000 bullets. She knows it kills kids in school. That's what matters.

So then he went into his favorite apples and oranges about how smoking and cars and falling out of trees kills people and I gently explained that it's not the same thing at all and mass falling out of trees isn't killing schoolchildren.

I didn't "win" the argument. But for the first time in a long time I wasn't upset or enraged after a disagreement. I felt stronger. And I felt like there was a little more steel because of this book.

Lindy West is a writer and she's funny and she knows famous people and she's fat and she lives in Seattle and I felt like she was me and is you and is all of us. But I did relate A LOT. And again, I felt that reading her brought something more to my voice.

I'll read the book again because it gave me words. It's there to strengthen our voices. Such a good book.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Good Day

I'm wearing underwear today. Must be a good day.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Isolate Your Ass, Motherfucker!!

The worst part of this whole thing, the worst worst part, is knowing that if one member of your household gets it, it could easily kill all the members of your household.

We are all over 60. We all have high blood pressure. My sister in law has heart and lung issues.

So my brother is working on his car and needs help and invites a friend over to help him. And then my SIL and said friend are sitting chatting, no social distancing. If I say something I'm going to be told to chill because no way is Matt sick. And he probably isn't. He also shouldn't be in our house.

Beyond that we Americans have an inept mob boss running our country into the ground who assumes that daily news briefings are a chance to brag about himself, to call women "nasty" and to suggest new ways people can ultimately kill themselves (listen to the orange shithole and do what he suggests and you'll likely die from it) (he isn't just corrupt, he's truly stupid).

I would make a better president than this scummy, slimy, sickening stain of shit on the world. I hate him. I literally hate him.

Otherwise, I'm living in a state of anxiety that's out of this world. I sleep about 16 hours a day. I talk to Mollie maybe a dozen times daily. I can't concentrate enough to do anything except watch documentaries on Netflix and play computer games.

I hope everyone is doing better than I am at this time. How are you all coping?

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Jane Doe and Victoria Helen Stone = My Forever Mood

Problem Child by Victoria Helen Stone is book 2 of the Jane Doe series (God, I so hope this is a series because Jane is the Queen). Anyway, the book dropped yesterday and I finished it today and I'll reread it in about a week to really savor so much more but...

it's as good as the first.

Jane hasn't changed. In fact, she's as sociopathic as ever and her story is, as always, riveting. In Problem Child, Jane's niece is missing and so Jane goes home (ugh) to find her niece and find out if she's as sociopathic as Jane.

I'm not going to discuss the plot because I don't think I read Jane for the plot as much as I read her for her. Jane is a brilliant character and I think she's so fascinating because there's a little Jane in all of us. Now I can hear Carolyn right now saying "I ain't nothin' like Jane" in her Southern accent even though she's a Canadian deep down, but ha! we all have a piece of something inside that's greedy or uncaring or cries out for revenge.

Jane is the answer to the patriarchy (another ugh). Jane is the woman who sees men as they really are and uses them, she's uncaring about being judges and she can't be manipulated because she knows all the tricks.

The men at work who think they can have her do all the work and they get the credit? Dust. The pick-up artists in the bar? Child's play. The man who loves her? Sorry but even he's getting played.

I'll do a better review in a few days but wow, this book is a blast. Read it for Jane. Understand how she's guided by hunger, interest and lack of emotion. And then just for fun, compare her to yourself and others and ask yourself how many sociopaths do you know?

Thursday, March 19, 2020

As the World Burns, Meet My Favorite Monstas

I'm not going to post about viruses, racist asshat Presidents, isolation or any of that shit.Instead I'm going to introduce you to my obsession: MonstaX.

MonstaX is a K-Pop group who is the second in history to put out an all English album: All About Luv.

I bought the album in disc for my car and digital for home and I almost want to buy it for everyone I know because I fucking love it that much.

So meet my boys:

Shownu. He's the group leader, main dancer, amazing singer. He's the Daddy of the group, often has a bemused expression as the guys bounce all over the place and he's solid. Solid body, solid attitude, a man that the guys can lean on emotionally and physically and be okay.

I'm going to mention that one of the things I love about these guys is that they have no toxic masculinity issues. I've wasted days of my life watching YouTube videos of them in almost everything (excluding toilet videos which seems to be the one place the camera never followed them) and they are so affectionate and touchy with each other that my old heart melts. I have never seen a group of young men so easy with hugs and saying "I love you" and just being family.

A few other things about Shownu: he's painfully shy. He did a Korean reality show called The Lipstick Prince where he learned about make-up and applying it because make-up doesn't have a gender and these guys are fucking gorgeous in their make-up. He has a good sense of humor and I have a feeling that he's good at cunnilingus. Just a feeling...

Wonho is not currently in the group but the fandom (called Monbebe, of which I am proudly one and have the shirt to prove it) is hoping that he will return. He was being investigated for a drug charge which was never proven and now he's free and well, goddamn, we want our Bunny back.

Wonho is a good singer, a great dancer and a lovely visual for the group. He's the bad boy, and now he's telling more about his life and his mis-steps and well, he's resilient and beautiful and I love him to death. Grew up in major poverty, ran with some not good people and redeemed himself in practicing his singing and dancing and becoming a trainee at Starship Entertainment. 

Wonho's nickname is Bunny because he's visually sex on a stick but emotionally he's a teenager. He's the guy who pinches, teases, laughs constantly, eats constantly (like Shownu, these guys have HUGE appetites). He's someone you just want to cuddle and take care of. He's very emotional, easily the first to cry, and he's just a heart melter.

Hyungwon is dancer, singer, visual. He's easily the handsomest of them all with classic model features. He's tall, has a sweet voice and is just a really great guy. He's also the meme king.


He's another shy guy but he's also hilarious. He was the reason I watched them in the first place because he's so pretty but then I got hooked quickly.

His nickname is H1, he's also a DJ and successful in Korea with it. Watching videos of the guys you would think H1 is the clumsiest but he's actually one of the best dancers as well as a good athlete. He's one of the few members who has a dating history, is also a model and hell, he's goofy as fuck and surprisingly sophisticated and I love him to pieces.

This is Kihyun, the main vocalist. He can sing. And I mean, he can sing. 

Honestly, the least interesting member to me so what I'll say is that he's a good photographer, lovely skin and he can sing.

Jooheon, aka Joohoney aka Honey. Main rapper. Terrific singer. Fabulous dancer. Great visuals. Dare I say he is the real center of the group and omg, he can do anything and do it better.

Honey is amazing. As a trainee he was the one who won every contest, did guest raps on other artist's songs and already was having a career before debut. Honey also has some mental health issues including insecurity and anxiety that sometimes derail him. One of the sweetest things in my world is seeing how Honey reacts when his fellow members praise him because he doesn't think highly enough of himself so when he hears from others that he's appreciated and loved, his joy is contagious.

I actually am finding it a little hard to write about Honey because I love him and he's been not performing for a couple of months because of his anxiety issues and I just hope he's doing okay. He's supposed to be back with the group for the next world tour (whenever that is). 



Minhyuk. Singer. Possibly the prettiest little boy. 

To explain Minhyuk is hard. He's loud. He talks all the time. He's an excellent emcee. He's clingy. He's funny. He's the most romantic and has no issues telling people that he loves them, touching and hugging. He's the most secure human being ever.

I call him Yuk when I talk to Mollie as a joke but we agree that he's gorgeous. Love him.

This is I.M. Real name Changhyun. He's also a rapper and with the new album he's stepping up as a singer. I love all these guys but IM is my snack. There's just something about this boy that warms the cockles of my unused vagina. Oh yeah, my heart too.

IM is the translator of the group because he speaks English (3 years living in Boston as a child). He's also the youngest. He has a lot to do with the success of the group because he previously was the only one who could speak English. They all do now with Honey and Kihyun matching IM. 

I love his voice, he has a sultry sound and when he and Honey rap they have different tones and are amazing together. Huge sense of humor, he's the baby of the group and sometimes is bratty and sometimes is the victim. He just cracks me up.

I LOVE THESE MEN LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE!!!!






Sunday, March 8, 2020

Poem


Reclaiming Guinevere, Part 2

I don't want to say
bitches gonna be bitches
but I haven't felt free
since I met her.
I sleep okay now
it's been too many years
to toss in the sea
of unyielding faces
razing my entire being
at some point
I needed to answer
to my own name.
Lori.
My name is Lori
not bitch, not cunt
not problem child
unloved and unneeded
not that employee
she fired with glee
I'm not enough
to even be evil
and neither was she.
She was just that bitch
in my life,
the one who winked
when I was on fire
to assure me water was coming
while she threw
matches to the ground.
I've almost forgotten
her name
but not quite yet.
She wears different faces
in other places but she's
always the same.
Bitches gonna be bitches
I remind myself
as I salt the earth
and whisper her heart
into the clouds.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

Should you buy this book? Look down. Do you have breasts? A vagina? Do you identify as female? 
Buy this book.

I wrote earlier about the book and it was amazing from the beginning because from page 1 it's truth bomb after truth bomb with truly feminine/feminist sensibilities. Some of the negative reviews on Amazon center around the dislike of the feminist side of the book but I think that's what makes it stand out. Without understanding how the patriarchy (ugh) influences our lives, we can't live wholly and fully as ourselves.

There's no miracle cure. What there is comes to understanding how our bodies function best and how to bypass the "human giver syndrome" to claim the rest and self care we need to not just survive but to live.

There's just too many thoughts and truths to make a sensible review for me. But reasons I want every woman alive to read this book:
  1. It explains how stress works and has no magic bullet to rid your life of stress. Instead it explains how stress works as a cycle so if you can complete the cycle, your mind and body can move on and not keep functioning in stress mode.
  2. "Human Giver Syndrome". I've heard it with many names but it's a HUGE part of women's lives. We're caretakers for the world (and our families, friends, co-workers...) We are expected to give as much of ourselves as possible and even when it sickens us or makes us weak we should never be selfish enough to think self-care matters.
  3. The madwoman in the attic. I like this phrase. It's an explanation of that voice in your head that says you're not enough, you don't deserve love, bad things happen to you because you deserve them... you know: too fat, too unlovable, too loud. Who is the madwoman in your attic?
  4. Rest. We don't get enough sleep. Or rest. (Okay Carolyn, you might not relate to everything in the book.)
  5. The game is rigged. It's 100% rigged against women.  
I don't know if I can express how amazing this book is. Really. It just seemed to fit into so much of what I have and still do experience, and overall made me feel seen. And honestly, to have someone tell you that yes, no matter how much you do it will never be enough so why not do as much as you want/can and then go get a manicure and a nap...

If you have the spare $$ get this book. It might not change your life but it will help you feel not quite so alone in it.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Cocks (A Poem)

I used to love men's cocks
those absurd, proud popinjays
posturing, silly, silky hard
pleasing when proud & excited,
then, like a sad prairie animal
when unaroused, like a lipstick
no one likes the color of
so never uses.

I used to like the sight
the taste and thrust of a cock
sometimes
I even liked the actual man
but not that often. They were
stains on my sheets, beads
crowding my busy bracelets,
stepping stones to my discovery:
they were something to me once.

I no longer care for the cocks
or the men, for their blustering
or politics, for sperm and thrust
aggression, oppression, wet spots
sore thighs, broken dreams
broken stones when you want
to tread lightly.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA

Okay, I just got this book and my mind is being blown on every page, and I’m only a few chapters in but I know it’s going to be one of those books I’ll read again and again because it makes total sense and it really will improve your life!

I first heard about the book from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. They were talking about how much they were looking forward to reading it. I put it on my Amazon Wish List and have just waited for it to come out in paperback.

So let me explain something about self-help books (my opinion only): if you’re open to it and the author isn’t a complete idiot then most likely you’ll find something that resonates with you. Then again you can find it anywhere. So a self-help book is a nebulous creature, more than able to nothing but sound-bites with no substance or something with complete substance that rocks you while you read it.

Burnout is rocking me because it’s not really about the things that stress us out, after all, life is nothing but stress upon stress. Finances constantly stress me, the sad state of my knees, my daughter being so far away, politics, work… the list goes on. And these are not miracle workers with miracle cures. After all, let’s be completely honest: some stresses resolve while others are with us always.

Burnout is about what happens to your body when stress gets involved. The muscles tightening, the adrenaline running and every part of you ready for flight or fight. We can live with stressors, we can’t survive the stress reactions in our body.
I’m only about a quarter through the book but I’m shook on every page. I feel like this is the right book for most women who feel overwhelmed by being superwoman, who wake up every morning and want to stay in bed because there’s so much to do, and who can’t sleep because of the lists and problems that keep her eyes open and her brow creased.

Carolyn told me to write as I progress through the book. I might. But I can tell you right now this book is a serious keeper.

Thursday, February 6, 2020

The Power of Creating Definition

You know that moment when someone says something that blows your mind with its simplicity and truth? I saw that on Twitter yesterday when author N.K. Jemison responded to a Twitter post and said about close friendships: Don’t call them your friends, call them your partners. Relationships between people deserve their own definitions as decided by those people, not by society.

Do you know how simple and true that is? I mean, think about it. I live with my brother and sister-in-law and yes, they’re family and all but as far as living together we’re also roommates and partners. My friendship with Carolyn has spanned 15 years and we’ve written books together, shared happy and sad and websites, we’re more than friends, at this point Carolyn is my sister.

(Lea, I know you’re reading this and I think of you as my long-distance girlfriend.)

Anyway, the thing is that I loved the idea. The awareness that we all have relationships that skip around the random borders we assign. My night boss, the amazing Kozy is my boss, my friend, my soon to be divorced husband. We bounce around between loving each other, wanting to stick each other with sharp, pointy things and sometimes just doing the boss/employee relationship too.

Anyway, my mind was pleasantly blown and I’m delighted. And I just wanted to share.

**want to add that in 2 days a couple of 18 year olds have blown my mind. Yesterday I received a present from my daughter of a book she heard parts of in a class and thought I would enjoy. It’s the first time she ever bought me a present that wasn’t for an occasion. I was gobsmacked and delighted.

And my girl’s high school friend Winnie auditioned for a Performance Art College and was accepted at her audition! So she’s transferring colleges for next year. I’m so fucking proud of that girl. And her words of love to me after my words of congratulations to her made my heart melt.**

Monday, January 20, 2020

Strange Love by Ann Aguirre

Zylar of Kith B’alak is desperate for a mate. Beryl of Earth is not. In fact, all Beryl wants is to finish her community service, get her bills paid and maybe have a life. What she doesn’t expect is an alien abduction, a talking dog and a deep bond with some of the weirdest creatures you’ll ever read about. 
Strange Love by Ann Aguirre is a book of such sweetness, humor, and even some heat (Zylar is an alien, and an insectoid one at that) (so trust me when I say that the sex was weird but really cool). I mean, seriously, this woman wrote one of my most hated books of 2019 (The Third Mrs. Durst) and now one of my most favorite books of 2020.
Reasons to love this book:
1.       Beryl is abducted because of a mistake. Zylar was aiming for someone else.
2.       Beryl’s dog Snaps is abducted too and because of a communication chip, he can communicate. (And when he screws up and says “I’m a bad dog” I admit there was a little sniffle.)
3.       The bad guy, Ryzvan was a bad guy but not a cartoon character bad guy. Although I would have loved a little more comeuppance for him, he worked as a bad guy.
4.       Zylar is an insectoid alien with self-confidence issues. Beryl gives him confidence and he gives Beryl a universe.
There is so much good stuff in this book. I had a quibble in one or two places but they were small. 
And the way the society on this planet is laid out, there were issues that could be addressed by others in further books if Ms. Aguirre chooses to continue writing in this world. Such as, the mating “dance” that takes place on Kith B’alak is like a game of Survivor but not winning means dying. And if your intended chooses, she can choose another to mate with (or be “nest guardian” to) and like Zylar has faced before in other ‘Choosing’, he could be left alone and face a future as a working drone with no chances of happiness.
This book was wonderful. Read it. Read it now. It’s a 10 out of 10 and a hoot as well as a holler.

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Two Old Farts in 2020

Happy New Year Blog Family. We're excited to start this new year and change things up a little.

The first thing we want to announce is that the blog family is expanding. We've reached out to people we respect and whose voices compliment our thoughts and this blog and have invited them to guest post and be an old fart (small letters, not capital Old Farts because Carolyn and I are the oldest, and although I promised to never mention it, Carolyn is the fartiest).

So we'll be excited for you to meet some of our new friends and contributors.

We're also exploring starting some video blogging and Carolyn has promised to video her first tattoo session for the blog.

We'll be having a psychic visiting soon so that should be an eye opening experience.

And rumor has it that there might be a lawsuit in the future but that will be Carolyn suing me for 15+ years of besmirching her character (since I have no character this could get interesting).

So hap-hap-happy new year and here's to an exciting and productive 2020 with more content, more fun and a fuck load more naps.