Two Weeks Notice

Two weeks till I get on a plane and go to a state I've never set foot in to a town I found on a Google search to live in a house I own that I haven't really seen to begin a new chapter of my life.

Cool beans.

Right now my concern is just getting everything packed. I've done pretty well and all I have left is books, k-pop collection and kitchen. I think K-pop collection will be sent USPS right before I leave so I can get it quicker and set it up. It will give me a little more joy to have my boys/men surrounding me in the new space. 

I'm cycling through excitement, depression and anxiety. I know I've done a lot and it will all be done. I'll leave with everything I want (minus one kitty who I still need to find a home for but it breaks my heart and I'm not being proactive). I'll have a bed waiting and a litter box for the cats waiting so I should have nothing to worry about. Everything else is small.

Two weeks. I'm just gobsmacked at how time works. But this isn't new. We dread/anticipate something in the future (going to Japan, seeing my father) and it build up in our mind. Then it's almost there and you make sure you have everything you need. Then you're on a plane and the waiting is over. 

Next week the movers come and then I'll have a full week of nothing to do but clean my apartment before I leave, mail a few boxes of things I want the week I arrive that I don't have space to bring on the plane and then we go. I already have laundry pods, toilet paper, cat snacks and instant coffee to bring. My Kindle will be charged and ready. I'll actually live in the same time zone as Carolyn for the first time in our 20+ years of friendship. 

And: it's a 1 day drive from my door to her door and we're planning our first trip already. Springtime in Alabama. I can't wait.

December Disasters

 The State of my state or the craziness that is my family or what do you do when you no longer hate?

This is a lot and I'm writing it to get it out. Starting with: I went in October to see my father and be with my siblings and a huge part of my life felt a lot more settled after that. The relationships with my siblings is brilliant (finally) and we have a group chat with the three of us that's getting a huge work-out. It's one of the highlights of my life currently.

So my father's 95th birthday is in March and he wanted everyone to come see him and we decided to. We're getting a B&B in downtown Asheville and all siblings and spouses will be there (Mollie declined an invitation) and it was fun to plan time together again. Howevs, thankfully no one got their plane tickets ...

My father got hospitalized with a chest infection. He took a couple of falls so off to the hospital he went and they pumped him full of antibiotics and then decided to put him in a rehab center to regain his strength before going home.

Because he was bored he called his kids. A lot. And I had some nice conversations with him. He got very involved with my home buying journey. He told stories about his life after he left the family. 

Then he got COVID. So instead of going home they readmitted him back into the hospital. A 94 year old with COVID is not working with statistics on their side. And then he did what he's always done and he acted the ass. He checked himself out of the hospital AMA (against medical advice) and he went home. With COVID. To his 80 year old wife. Who has/had polio. Who walks with a walker. Who he's yelling at to nursemaid him.

Anyway, all of this and moving/buying a house has put me in one of my biggest depressive episodes in a long time. I move in three weeks and I can't get out of bed most days. I eat one meal daily, I'm exhausted and there's so much to do. 

My brother's birthday is tomorrow and he came to have me take him to lunch today which was a godsend. It forced me to shower and get dressed and finally take my laundry to the laundromat and get some clean undies. We spent over 2 hours just talking and it gave me the energy I needed to take care of laundry. I still have a shitload of boxes to pack and I need to get my car cleaned out to sell it and I'm just laying in bed reading and sleeping.

Anyway, I wanted to write some of this out to get it off my chest and maybe aid myself in getting on track. Comments are off (if I did it right). I just needed to read my own words right now.

Moving to Decatur

 You would think I never bought a home before. (I kind of haven't, not like this). Anyway, my little house in Decatur will officially be mine in 10 days. The seller repaired everything we asked except the roof and they're dropping the price because I will replace the roof myself in spring.

My apartment is boxes and chaos. The cool thing about moving is purging things. All the little things that have taken up space for too long that bring no joy. And then the things that make me smile or feel lighter in my soul. Knowing those things will follow me and continue to bring happiness.

It's just exhausting to be doing all this. Much of my furniture is gone, I'm keeping my bed and desk until the last minute and most everything else is being given to neighbors. It would cost less to replace certain things than to just buy them new.

Anyway, I sleep, I pack, I stress. And in a little over three weeks I'll be on the mainland freezing my patootie off.

Cheers.